Ted (2012)

Zane Christopher: Kid #1, Young Ted's Voice

Photos 

Quotes 

• Johnny Carson : Hello, Teddy.

  [shakes Ted's hand and chuckles] 

  Johnny Carson : You... you are a... You surprise me. I... For some reason I thought you were going to be taller.

  Young Ted : I thought you were going to be funnier.

• Young John : Mom, Dad, guess what? My teddy bear's alive!

  John's Mom : Really? Well, isn't that exciting!

  Young John : No, Mom! He's really alive! Look!

  Young Ted : [Ted walks in the kitchen]  Merry Christmas, everybody!

  John's Mom : AAAAHHHHHHH!

  John's Dad : Jesus H. Fuck!

  Young Ted : Let's all be best friends!

  John's Mom : OH MY GOD!

  John's Dad : Son, get away from that thing! Get over here, right now!

  Young John : But Dad...

  John's Dad : GET OVER HERE!

  John's Mom : Listen to your father! Get over here!

  John's Dad : [John walks over to his parents]  Helen, get my gun.

  Young John : Dad, no!

  Young Ted : Is it a hugging gun?

  John's Dad : Helen, get my gun and call the police!

  Young Ted : I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett. I didn't mean to scare anybody. I just wanted John an I to be friends.

  Young John : Yeah, Dad! I made a wish last night that Teddy was alive. And my wish came true!

  John's Mom : Oh my god, it's a miracle. It's a Christmas miracle. You're just like the Baby Jesus!