The Cleveland Show (TV Series)

Harder, Better, Faster, Browner (2010)

Mike Henry: Cleveland Brown, Rallo Tubbs, Bruce the Performance Artist, Dwayne Meighan, Guy Who Uses a Breadstick as a Phone

Quotes 

• Cleveland Brown : [after discovering Kenny and Candice sleeping in Kenny's car]  Kenny, you're... you're homeless.

  Kenny West : Shh! Man, not in front of my kid. I told her that cars were houses and houses were cars, so she just thinks we're car-less.

• Donna Tubbs : [to Cleveland]  I'll always be your first lady.

  Cleveland Brown : Not to brag, but you're more like my sixth lady.

• Cleveland Brown : [to Kenny]  Hey, you should bring Candice over for a playdate.

  Kenny West : Hmm. That's actually not a bad idea. I got a gig this afternoon anyway.

  Cleveland Brown : I'll treat her like she's one of my own and I mean my own, not one of my stepkids. Sometimes I forget to feed them.

• Kenny West : [to Donna]  Hey, Miss Tubbs. I got you a little thank you gift for letting me and Candice crash at your place.

  [gives her a bottle of wine] 

  Donna Tubbs : Oh, my God. "Tyler Perry Presents Wine."

  Cleveland Brown : They say it's rich and super fruity and not complex at all.

• Cleveland Brown : [bursts into the bedroom while Donna is asleep]  Donna, wake up! The house is on fire! Rallo's dead!

  Donna Tubbs : [jumps out of bed]  What? Oh, my God, no! My baby! My baby!

  Cleveland Brown : Ha-ha-ha. Just kidding.

• Kenny West : Cleveland, you're fired.

  Cleveland Brown : What?

  Kenny West : I''m sorry, but the book I read said if you've got bad news, come right out and say it. No, you're supposed to first give them a fake compliment, then the bad news.

  Cleveland Brown : Oh.

  Kenny West : You've lost weight and you're fired.

  Cleveland Brown : Well, at least I've lost weight.

• Cleveland Brown : [while on the news]  Barack Obama doesn't care about black people.

  [Everyone is shocked at his comment] 

  Kenny West : [to Cleveland]  What the fuck were you thinking?

  Cleveland Brown : I don't know. The lights, the camera. I got nervous.

• Rallo Tubbs : [while at a restaurant]  Attention, men. If your ladies are in the bathroom and you wish for just once in your life you had the cajones to just get up and leave, follow me.

• Cleveland Brown : [about Barack Obama]  You know what, Donna? He may live in the White House, but I'd rather live in the Brown house.

  Donna Tubbs : I'd rather live in the White House.

  Cleveland Brown : Yeah, me too.