- Ian Hecox: Let's do this you handsome bearded fuck!
- [he arm wrestles with another man, but struggles due to his puppet hands]
- Ian Hecox: Fine. Fuck this.
- [beats him up and flips him off]
- Anthony Padilla: Let's get the fuck out of here!
- Anthony Padilla: [singing] I'm so frickin' tired of Christmas and all the bullshit it puts in my head. I'm so frickin' tired of stupid presents under smelly trees. I wish there was somethin' instead that wasn't so stupid and so lame. I guess I have Santa and his elves to blame. Yeah! I'm so frickin' tired of Christmas and I want it to be dead.
- Ian Hecox: [wakes up] Oh my frickin' frick! It's frickin' Christmas, Anthony! Merry Christmas!
- Anthony Padilla: Yeah. Merry Christmas...
- [sees that Ian has an erection]
- Anthony Padilla: What the hell is that?
- Ian Hecox: [puts it away] Uhh... That's just a candy cane.