George Burns: George Burns

Quotes 

• Gracie Allen : [Gracie tries to help Ronnie get a motorcycle]  George, Ronnie wants a locomotive.

  George Burns : Ronnie wants a locomotive?

  Gracie Allen : How about a speedboat?

  George Burns : A speedboat?

  Gracie Allen : Well, he needs something to go to school in. Taxis are very expensive!

  George Burns : How 'bout a pair of roller-skates?

  Gracie Allen : Let's split it down the middle and get him a motorcycle.

  [Gracie pats Ronnie's chest] 

  Gracie Allen : See how it works, Ronnie?

• George Burns : [to audience]  Blanche just told me that she slugged a masher in a book shop. And Harry Morton is inviting this important executive to dinner tonight to make a good impression on him. Wouldn't it be funny if they turned out to be the same man? It better be funny or I'll certainly speak to my writers!

• George Burns : [Gracie blathers on about her Uncle Harvey]  And now, Gracie, say goodnight.

  Gracie Allen : You don't want to hear about the job he had helping that plumber? Well, the only reason he lost the job is because he did what the plumber told him to.

  George Burns : That's why he LOST it?

  Gracie Allen : Well, yes. You see, what happened was they were trying to hammer some pipe through a hole in the wall, so the plumber held it and he said to Uncle Harvey, "Now, when I nod my head, you hit it with that big hammer."

  George Burns : So?

  Gracie Allen : So the plumber did and Uncle Harvey did.

  George Burns : And Uncle Harvey isn't working for the plumber anymore.

  Gracie Allen : There is no plumber anymore!