- Uncle Ruckus: [narrating his life with his father] Even just having fun was off limits in his house.
- Mister Ruckus: [sees him sitting on his bed holding a teddy bear] Nigger did I just catch you having fun?
- [slaps him]
- Bunny Ruckus: [complimenting Uncle Ruckus] I'm proud of Uncle, he lives in this beautiful neighborhood around some lovely white people.
- Mister Ruckus: He lives in a shack on the outskirts of town!
- Bunny Ruckus: [assuring him] He works hard.
- Mister Ruckus: And still ain't got shit, and ain't never going to have shit! You know what that makes you? A Mexican! Is that what you accomplished with your life boy? Being a Mexican? You ain't even got to speak English to be a Mexican, who's fault is it that you're a professional Mexican? Is that my fault?
- Young Uncle Ruckus: Mama, who's George Washington Carver?
- Bunny Ruckus: He's the man responsible for more peanut allergy deaths than anyone who ever lived.
- Uncle Ruckus: [Narrating] I'll never forget the day my grandmama Nellie Ruckus showed up after all them fitty years, I'll never forget because it scarred me for the rest of my natural born life
- [screams as Nellie hits him on the head with a toilet plunger]
- Uncle Ruckus: Ow goddamnit!
- Nellie Ruckus: Oh Uncle it's you
- Uncle Ruckus: Nellie is that you?
- Nellie Ruckus: Nigger I thought you was a burglar, a big fat funky, nasty, stinky, black, one eyed, mother fucking burglar! Why the fuck didn't you knock nigger? You raggedy son of a bitch!
- Uncle Ruckus: I live here
- Nellie Ruckus: Don't you sass me again boy and I'll cut you!
- [points a straight razor at his throat]