- Barney: Because new is always better.
- Ted Mosby: And this theory applies to everything?
- Barney: Everything.
- Ted Mosby: So, those new Star Wars movies... Those are better than the old ones?
- Barney: Yeah. The first three barely mention the intricacies of intergalactic trade law.
- Ted Mosby: And when you're at a Guns N' Roses concert, you're like, "yeah, yeah, Paradise City, whatever. When are they gonna rock me some Chinese Democracy"?
- Barney: Axl's really matured as a songwriter, Ted.
- Marshall Eriksen: How's it going with Robin?
- Max: I think I have to break up with her.
- Marshall Eriksen: Why?
- Barney: *You* with *her*?
- Max: Yeah, well, there's this kind of weird thing she likes to do in the bedroom. It just makes me uncomfortable.
- Barney: I get it.
- Ted Mosby: Yeah, that is not for everyone!
- Marshall Eriksen: What's not for everyone?
- [Everyone looks at him awkwardly]
- Marshall Eriksen: Guys, come on! What is it?
- Max: Come on, bro! It's the locker-room!
- Ted Mosby: This wouldn't work. Zoey, the Arcadian was really great building once, but it's falling apart and full of snakes.
- Zoey Pierson: Snakes?
- Ted Mosby: I don't recall saying snakes.
- Barney: Dude working together is going to be legen- wait for it... I'll send you an inter office memo with the rest because we friggin' work together!
- Barney: [girls talking about penis size] How can you speak of such things?
- Lily: You kidding? Barney every time I mention a woman you don t know, the first thing you say is: "Boobs?". Not the complete sentence like : "Does she have big boobs?" which also would not be great. Just, "Boobs?"
- Barney: I do not do that!
- Lily: my friend Lori from work...
- Barney: Boobs?... Damn it
- Barney: Ted, I know you love classic stuff no one cares about, but I'm gonna give you four words to live by: New Is Always Better.
- Ted Mosby: New is always better?
- Barney: Ted, you know who's a million times hotter than the hottest girl I've ever slept with? Her okay-looking friend I haven't seen naked. Why? Because new is always better.