eCupid (2011)

Houston Rhines: Marshall

Quotes 

• Keith : Isn't thirty a little young to be having a midlife crisis?

  Marshall Thomas : I'm gay. Thirty's the new forty.

• Myles : You know, you're pretty dope for an old guy.

  Marshall Thomas : Wow. Really? "Old guy?"

  Myles : Relax. I mean, you're still hot. I mean, I wouldn't be burning my minutes on you if you weren't.

• Carson : Should I start setting up?

  Marshall Thomas : When?

  Carson : As soon as you get in the shower and remove that rent-boy stink off you.

• Keith : Someone's excited.

  Marshall Thomas : I'm just getting out my keys.

  Keith : Right, right, right.

• Carson : So why don't you get out of my way and let me so what I do - oh, so well I might add - and save your tuchus from real embarrassment? And I am talking REAL embarrassment, not the oops-I-left-my-sexa-toy-on-the-floor sort of embarrassment you should be feeling right about... now.

  Marshall Thomas : [spotting the giant dildo Dawson left behind]  Wow. Okay. Um... not mine.

  Carson : Of course it's not - and I'm pregnant with George Clooney's baby.

• Marshall Thomas : Mr. Hutchington. Are... Are you here for the party?

  Mr. Hutchington : [seeing he's surrounded by shirtless gay men]  Do I really look like some closet-case, uptight Christian, log-cabin republican who slinks around the house at midnight to party with some hot underage muscle studs at private parties to satisfy my secret desires and urges to you?

• Marshall Thomas : I'm the same boring guy as you.

  Gabe Horton : Yeah, keep digging that hole.

• Keith : So, what was THAT all about?

  Marshall Thomas : My boyfriend came by to talk.

  Keith : Well, now he knows next time to call.

• Marshall Thomas : [caught with someone else's hand down his pants]  It's not what it looks like.

  Gabe Horton : Are you sure? Did you at least turn your head and cough first?

• Mr. Hutchington : I'm giving you another watch campaign.

  Marshall Thomas : [flatly]  Fantastic...

  Mr. Hutchington : THIS time with a completely new look and design.

  Marshall Thomas : [perking up]  Thank God.

  Mr. Hutchington : Somthing fresh and original.

  Marshall Thomas : Yes. Please.

  Mr. Hutchington : Has to look just like the old one. Don't deviate from the tried and true.

  Marshall Thomas : [deflated]  I wouldn't dream of adding creativity to ANY of my work.

• Mr. Hutchington : [spotting Keith and Marshall, with Marshall wearing a birthday party hat]  Creative meeting or did I not get the invitation to an office party?

  Keith : It's, um, Marshall's birthday today.

  Mr. Hutchington : Really? Happy birthday, Marshall. And look at me standing here without a gift or a silly hat on, thinking work should be getting done. Where is my party etiquette?

  Marshall Thomas : You know, that's okay. Hey, how 'bout for my birthday present you let me work on something else besides magazine layouts for mind-numbing useless products like watches and tampons?

  Keith : I'm gonna go back to work. Excuse me.

  Mr. Hutchington : Good call.