Peep Show (TV Series)

A Beautiful Mind (2010)

Robert Webb: Jeremy Usborne

Quotes 

• Jeremy Usborne : Don't worry. Zahra says we have only one fear to fear, and that's fear itself. It's a clever saying, isn't it?

  Mark Corrigan : And what about losing all your money? Or shitting yourself in public? Or the tabloid press mistakenly outing you as a paedo? Or Alzheimer's? Or all of those things, plus you're drowning?

• Jeremy Usborne : Christ, Mark. You really need to grow a pair.

  Mark Corrigan : Of testicles?

  Jeremy Usborne : Yes.

  Mark Corrigan : You want me to grow a pair of testicles so I'd have four testicles and somehow that'll help make me braver and better to deal with stress? Staggering around like a baboon with four balls hanging down?

  Jeremy Usborne : Look, Gail's fucking you over because you're so bloody passive. You need to rip her a new one.

  Mark Corrigan : A new anus? So she'd have two anuses? And then in this mad new world of yours, I'd presumably shove my four bollocks up her two anuses for some unknown reason.

• Super Hans : [speaking to Jeremy over the phone]  Jez, you need to come and get me.

  Jeremy Usborne : What's up?

  Super Hans : I've accidentally run to Windsor.

  Jeremy Usborne : What?

  Super Hans : Yeah, I've mistakenly... run to Windsor!

  Jeremy Usborne : But that's, like, in Scotland or something... isn't it?

  Super Hans : I didn't mean to, it's just the endorphins kicked in and I couldn't stop!

  Jeremy Usborne : OK, well find some polythene or something to pull over yourself, and a bit of waste ground, and I'm sure you'll feel fine in the morning.

  Super Hans : My legs have gone man! I'm a jelly! I'm paralysed! Feels fucking brilliant!

• Mark Corrigan : I'm just off to Dobby's, and I don't think I'll be needing to be friends with Kenneth anymore.

  Jeremy Usborne : [nodding]  OK. Do you think Kenneth might have been made redundant?

  Mark Corrigan : [tapping the side of his nose]  Indeed, I think Kenneth can take a hike.

  [Jeremy chuckles. Mark leaves] 

  Jeremy Usborne : [to Zahra and her book group friends]  Kenneth is what Mark calls his 9 inch dildo.

• Jeremy Usborne : Amélie is a fantastic film. What a fantastic film.

  Zahra : Yeah. It's French but you can easily work out what's happening most of the way through.

  Jeremy Usborne : Exactly.

  Zahra : Not predigested, Hollywood blockbuster crap.

  Jeremy Usborne : That shit, trying to lure you in by entertaining you. It's so shallow.

• Jeremy Usborne : It's great, isn't it, how, even though I'm an attractive guy and you're an attractive girl, we can just hang out like great mates.

  Zahra : Yeah. Just because I'm going out with Ben...

  Jeremy Usborne : [voiceover]  The shit.

  Zahra : ...doesn't mean that you and I can't be big buds.

• Jeremy Usborne : [about Zahra's book group]  Does Ben...

  [voiceover] 

  Jeremy Usborne : The shit.

  [voiceover ends] 

  Jeremy Usborne : ...go?