Rock & Chips (TV Series)

The Frog and the Pussycat (2011)

Kellie Bright: Joan Trotter

Quotes 

• [Joan and Freddy are lying in bed] 

  Joan Trotter : I've been working as your charlady for over six months now, and I still don't know how to switch your Hoover on.

  Freddie Robdal : No, but you're very good with that squeegee.

• Freddie Robdal : Why'd you pawn the ring?

  Joan Trotter : I'm gonna get it back in a couple of weeks.

  Freddie Robdal : Why'd you pawn the ring?

  Joan Trotter : My son wanted to buy a Lambretta. He'll pay me back soon. Are they gonna hang you?

  Freddie Robdal : No, but after I get my hands on you, they might!

• Joan Trotter : What about Reg? He might come down to Bournemouth looking for us.

  Freddie Robdal : He'll only come down once. That's a big ocean.

  Joan Trotter : Don't say things like that.

  Freddie Robdal : Reg knows what'll happen if he makes a nuisance of himself. I know you can find his IQ on a dice, but he ain't that stupid.

  [Joan smiles] 

  Freddie Robdal : I'm out soon, and that's when our lives begin. Just keep thinking of us down on that beach. If it's a nice day, we can jump in the boat, sail out to sea, and have a picnic in France.

  Joan Trotter : [Faltering with joy]  Oh shut up...

  Freddie Robdal : Then we'll sail back, in time for little'un to get into bed, ready for school in the morning. He'll love it.

  Joan Trotter : I know he will. He's got a name. Rodney.

  Freddie Robdal : [Half uneasy]  Yeah, I know. You know, some people use their middle name instead of their first. Has he got a middle name?

  Joan Trotter : Charlton.

  Freddie Robdal : [Discreetly but obviously disappointed]  Yeah, Rodney'll love it.

  Joan Trotter : But what about my Derek? My eldest son, I mean, I don't want to just leave him, not the way he is. I wanna make sure he's OK.

  Freddie Robdal : Well, he's a teenager. He can look after himself, can't he?

  Joan Trotter : No, I'd worry about him. I've got to make sure he's settled before we run off.

• Barbara Bird : Tell Del, good luck with "Dracula on the Moon."

  [Runs off crying] 

  Joan Trotter : I'll give him "Dracula on the fucking Moon" when I get my hands on him!