"Die Erfinderbraut" is a German television film from 2013, so this one is moving closer to its tenth anniversary now. I am not sure though if this is a date to be proud of, an anniversary to be proud of because it's pretty embarrassing that pretty much eight years exactly after the first time it was shown, this is still on national television in the afternoon. But I shall get to the quality later on. Let's start with the basics first. This runs for under 1.5 hours, slightly under, just like the vast majority of German small screen movies, especially if the abysmal ARD (Degeto) and Theaterkunst (Theater"kunst" GmbH) were involved with the production. Films like this are were billions of GEZ money went. Unreal. The director is Thomas Nennstiel, very prolific filmmaker since the early 1990s and thus the epitome of quantity over quality. This film here is the perfect example and same applies to works like "Nicht mit mir, Liebling", "Entführ' mich, Liebling!", "Moppel-Ich", "Gefühlte XXS - Vollschlank & frisch verliebt" and "Bei manchen Männern hilft nur Voodoo". Shameful stuff really. I have seen some other films from him, but honestly with titles like these it is not even necessary to watch them and you still know the quality here is terrible. Normally I would say the writer is more to blame than the director, but here we got no excuse with such an amount of trashy films like he's got them. If he is the director, it is almost always a safe indicator for a film to suck. Natalie Scharf is the writer and I think her body of work is slightly better than the director's, but this is only because it does not need a lot to be better honestly. It's not great either, not even good, some weak projects there as well as she has worked with Thomalla on other occasions too, but also some tolerable stuff like "Dschungelkind".
I just mentioned Thomalla already and with that I mean Simone of course and not her equally untalented daughter Sophia. Simone Thomalla is in my opinion of the worst German actress in existence. The only reason why I would still probably rank her behind Neubauer for example is that Thomalla has not been as prolific. But she is still younger, so who knows. Maybe she can close the gap one day. It may sound harsh, but yes, she is really this bad. This film is the perfect example of everything she has done throughout her career: i.e. trashy ARD Degeto movies in which she plays tough independent women, that still magically end up with guys in the end and every time the guy has to be really patient and fight for her for quite a while. No range and absolutely no versatility to her, three different face expressions max that she shows in every movie. Let's not get too general here now though and instead move on and talk a bit about the other cast members. Obviously, they could not make their parts work either because of the horrible writing. Many familiar faces in here though, even if almost all of them regularly appear in nothing but these abysmal Degeto films. This applies especially to Schubert and Flemming who plays friends/antagonists in this film. Paula Schramm is a cutie no denying, but this is also all she is, at least in this movie. Ulrich Noethen has been in several spectacular films, so I have no clue why he would agree to appear in trash like this to be honest. Just for the easy money I suppose and he is not doing himself any favors at all this way. Sattmann and Schümann are also pretty experienced, but there is not much more to say about them. Sattmann for example played key romantic interests in films like this too, but not here. And finally, Ken Duken's sister is also on board.
The film starts pretty messy right away. Thomalla's protagonist Alexandra Fuchs is moving into a new apartment and in order for us to see what a smart and witty and creative woman she is, namely an "inventor bride" (I don't even), she come sup with a little application that makes t much easier to move the big cardboard boxes. The guy supposed to carry them is awed immediately and of course, she could always have him our wonderful Alexandra. How did she get into this situation? Well, we find out later on that her man left her and the kids, chose to have no contact anymore and also could not pay any money because he was in debt. Sure thing. Never in doubt as these ARD Degeto films in their attempts to turn the female protagonist into perfection almost always show strong anti-male tendencies. No difference here either. Take a literal quote from Schubert's character it was I think. The hatred is also there against other male characters. It is just not as obvious at times. Noethen's character is there to (not literally) drool over Thomalla's since the moment he enters the picture and also make sure she has financial success. But only by supporting her with his connections and knowsledge, not with his money because our Alex is a very independent woman. Sattmann's character is her boss and he is of course crushing on her too and not too happy when he finds out she may be dating another man. But he is still kind and friendly. At the same time, Super-Alex has to deal with her two children that she takes care of on her own as well. The young boy is not a problem, but the teenage daughter is struggling through puberty and causing a lot of trouble this way. But in the end, this is fixed too because she returns to school (hey how easy it is to get in and out within days) and why does she do so? Because she had a miraculous change in her mind that she does not want to disappoint her mother. Sure thing.
This is also a key aspect in all these ARD Degeto films that all the troubles that may seem so gigantic 20-30 minutes before the end of the film are miraculously solved in the end. Everybody is getting along well with everybody else. All the financial issues are solved. The girl is not only back to school, but even finding a boy friend who is new at this school as well. Of course, she literally bumped into him the minite she is back. More realism. And he still a good guy, at least her best friend is drooling over him too, probably because he has virtually no screen time for the writer to turn him into an evil male too, but she already started it with Thomalla's "many men are nice at the beginning" speech. Poor Gregor. I think the fact that he touches the girl's buttocks near the end may already be a tendency. Super-Alex likes it though. But then again, you cannot really blame him with how hot Paula Schramm is. Oh yes and another thing you find in this film (for once no children running away from home, even if the troubles with them are there too), is dogs and cats. The frequently try to deliver through cuteness and there is no denying the canine and feline in here are pretty nice, but the shameful thing is they are doing this for people to not recognize how empty this movie is at its very core in terms of the story, the acting, the direction and everything else. It's tough to find anything positive to say here. I guess Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe" during the closing credits is an okay number, but this has nothing to do with the filmmakers and also does not mean they are more creative. The contrary is the case. As for the animals I already mentioned, there is also a bit of sob story here, really cheap and uninspired, at the very start when we find out she has to take the dog to the shelter because it is not allowed at the new home. Oh and this is fixed too at the very end when the dog is back with them.
Everything is fixed. Noethen's character eventually gets his well-deserved liplock too, especially after rejecting and exposing the liar. Come on, Flemming is so much more attractive than Thomalla. And the invention aspect gets closure as well. There was this eviil, evil other woman that Alex thought was a friend and she dared to take that invention idea Alex came up with and say it is her own when it was about to become a success while telling Alex that they did not like the idea. But yeah, Alex finds out and as she is a fighter and has a great helper in Noethen's character, they manage to get things straight and a great amount of money is coming our protagonist's way. I cannot put into words how happy I was for her. No seriously, I feel pretty bad for people who see these Thomalla films as movies with realistic statements about strong independent female characters because this films are so void of authenticity, realism and creativity that it is not even funny anymore. The worst is that these films pretend to be all that, that they are about stories and characters that could exist like this exactly in real life. It's pretty sad and I applaud everybody who sees through this, especially the ladies that do. But far too many don't, which is also proven by the fact that Thomalla was picked to appear as a regular in the Tatort series. Which by the way is also extremely overrated. But this is another story. Millions and millions of people watching these utterly generic films every Sunday is just evidence of incapacity or confession of failure. Make your pick. But back to this one here: Of course, there is no other choice for me here than to give the outcome a truly dedicated thumbs-down. Just like almost everything else that Thomalla has been a part of, it is an unwatchable movie for the most part. Highly not recommended. Don't even get me started on the radio show at the end. A real lowpoint errr. "highlight".
I just mentioned Thomalla already and with that I mean Simone of course and not her equally untalented daughter Sophia. Simone Thomalla is in my opinion of the worst German actress in existence. The only reason why I would still probably rank her behind Neubauer for example is that Thomalla has not been as prolific. But she is still younger, so who knows. Maybe she can close the gap one day. It may sound harsh, but yes, she is really this bad. This film is the perfect example of everything she has done throughout her career: i.e. trashy ARD Degeto movies in which she plays tough independent women, that still magically end up with guys in the end and every time the guy has to be really patient and fight for her for quite a while. No range and absolutely no versatility to her, three different face expressions max that she shows in every movie. Let's not get too general here now though and instead move on and talk a bit about the other cast members. Obviously, they could not make their parts work either because of the horrible writing. Many familiar faces in here though, even if almost all of them regularly appear in nothing but these abysmal Degeto films. This applies especially to Schubert and Flemming who plays friends/antagonists in this film. Paula Schramm is a cutie no denying, but this is also all she is, at least in this movie. Ulrich Noethen has been in several spectacular films, so I have no clue why he would agree to appear in trash like this to be honest. Just for the easy money I suppose and he is not doing himself any favors at all this way. Sattmann and Schümann are also pretty experienced, but there is not much more to say about them. Sattmann for example played key romantic interests in films like this too, but not here. And finally, Ken Duken's sister is also on board.
The film starts pretty messy right away. Thomalla's protagonist Alexandra Fuchs is moving into a new apartment and in order for us to see what a smart and witty and creative woman she is, namely an "inventor bride" (I don't even), she come sup with a little application that makes t much easier to move the big cardboard boxes. The guy supposed to carry them is awed immediately and of course, she could always have him our wonderful Alexandra. How did she get into this situation? Well, we find out later on that her man left her and the kids, chose to have no contact anymore and also could not pay any money because he was in debt. Sure thing. Never in doubt as these ARD Degeto films in their attempts to turn the female protagonist into perfection almost always show strong anti-male tendencies. No difference here either. Take a literal quote from Schubert's character it was I think. The hatred is also there against other male characters. It is just not as obvious at times. Noethen's character is there to (not literally) drool over Thomalla's since the moment he enters the picture and also make sure she has financial success. But only by supporting her with his connections and knowsledge, not with his money because our Alex is a very independent woman. Sattmann's character is her boss and he is of course crushing on her too and not too happy when he finds out she may be dating another man. But he is still kind and friendly. At the same time, Super-Alex has to deal with her two children that she takes care of on her own as well. The young boy is not a problem, but the teenage daughter is struggling through puberty and causing a lot of trouble this way. But in the end, this is fixed too because she returns to school (hey how easy it is to get in and out within days) and why does she do so? Because she had a miraculous change in her mind that she does not want to disappoint her mother. Sure thing.
This is also a key aspect in all these ARD Degeto films that all the troubles that may seem so gigantic 20-30 minutes before the end of the film are miraculously solved in the end. Everybody is getting along well with everybody else. All the financial issues are solved. The girl is not only back to school, but even finding a boy friend who is new at this school as well. Of course, she literally bumped into him the minite she is back. More realism. And he still a good guy, at least her best friend is drooling over him too, probably because he has virtually no screen time for the writer to turn him into an evil male too, but she already started it with Thomalla's "many men are nice at the beginning" speech. Poor Gregor. I think the fact that he touches the girl's buttocks near the end may already be a tendency. Super-Alex likes it though. But then again, you cannot really blame him with how hot Paula Schramm is. Oh yes and another thing you find in this film (for once no children running away from home, even if the troubles with them are there too), is dogs and cats. The frequently try to deliver through cuteness and there is no denying the canine and feline in here are pretty nice, but the shameful thing is they are doing this for people to not recognize how empty this movie is at its very core in terms of the story, the acting, the direction and everything else. It's tough to find anything positive to say here. I guess Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe" during the closing credits is an okay number, but this has nothing to do with the filmmakers and also does not mean they are more creative. The contrary is the case. As for the animals I already mentioned, there is also a bit of sob story here, really cheap and uninspired, at the very start when we find out she has to take the dog to the shelter because it is not allowed at the new home. Oh and this is fixed too at the very end when the dog is back with them.
Everything is fixed. Noethen's character eventually gets his well-deserved liplock too, especially after rejecting and exposing the liar. Come on, Flemming is so much more attractive than Thomalla. And the invention aspect gets closure as well. There was this eviil, evil other woman that Alex thought was a friend and she dared to take that invention idea Alex came up with and say it is her own when it was about to become a success while telling Alex that they did not like the idea. But yeah, Alex finds out and as she is a fighter and has a great helper in Noethen's character, they manage to get things straight and a great amount of money is coming our protagonist's way. I cannot put into words how happy I was for her. No seriously, I feel pretty bad for people who see these Thomalla films as movies with realistic statements about strong independent female characters because this films are so void of authenticity, realism and creativity that it is not even funny anymore. The worst is that these films pretend to be all that, that they are about stories and characters that could exist like this exactly in real life. It's pretty sad and I applaud everybody who sees through this, especially the ladies that do. But far too many don't, which is also proven by the fact that Thomalla was picked to appear as a regular in the Tatort series. Which by the way is also extremely overrated. But this is another story. Millions and millions of people watching these utterly generic films every Sunday is just evidence of incapacity or confession of failure. Make your pick. But back to this one here: Of course, there is no other choice for me here than to give the outcome a truly dedicated thumbs-down. Just like almost everything else that Thomalla has been a part of, it is an unwatchable movie for the most part. Highly not recommended. Don't even get me started on the radio show at the end. A real lowpoint errr. "highlight".
