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Okay porn but too much Product Placement
lor_4 March 2015
Angling for a footnote in film (or video) history this riff on the popular TV series has an unusual genesis. Just as Johnny Depp & co. hit pay-dirt with the unlikely filmization of an amusement park ride, veteran pornographer Jim Enright hooked up with a sex toys outfit Momentum to share funding, and in return features their vibrating cock ring product the Screaming O endlessly throughout the feature.

Casting is a bit uneven: Sunny Lane, she of the underage girl next door looks, is oddly cast in the Kim Cattrall slot - a bit nutty given the age, sexual aura & physique differences. More successful is Jewels Jade as Charlotte, the ultra-busty, muscular star basically stealing the picture portraying the fictional inventor of the real sex toy celebrated here.

Format is clumsy, with the four heroines in a restaurant celebrating the launch of their hopefully wealth-producing toy. Enright does not bother much with continuity, as a flashback of Miranda hooking up with the restaurant's bartender Danny Mountain is shown "out-of-time" - it makes no sense at all in the film's chronology. As Miranda, Audrey Lords was a poor choice -unattractive and uninteresting (looking her up in IMDb I see she barely made it out of the starting gate in porn).

Fourth gal is Monique Alexander in the lead as Carrie, an unwise decision as well. Apparently she was cast for star power, but she exudes none of the sensuality of Sarah Jessica Parker, who in an R-rated context comes off far more slutty and desirable than Monique generates with hardcore leeway. I presume that in order to keep things light (and this parody makes the real series seem like JUDGMENT AT NUREMBERG by comparison) Enright opted for a wimpy approach to sexual content.

The sex footage is all about spotlighting the stupid cock rings, a completely pointless exercise. O for orgasms should have translated into Joe Sarno style acting by the femmes, not some nearly invisible little toy.

Oddest touch here is Jade's trying on various costumes for her big scene in what looks like a wardrobe department or walk-in closet, and the first blue zippered top she tries on is the same garment she memorably wore starring in the Canadian feature MY GIRLFRIEND'S MOTHER 5 for Sweet Sinner. I guess all roads lead to Chatsworth as all the porn companies seem to share the same, talent, locations, and now wardrobe.

Guys are miscellaneously cast, especially Dale Dabone popping up in the final reel as Mr. Big -they are not given any personalities and go beyond the usual modern porn objectification of the male as mere dick, here they're merely "ring bearers" (cock ring that is). Perhaps Momentum will be backing the next round of Bilbo Baggins movies with a cock ring of invisibility.

Beyond all the mindless yapping among the girls, painfully unfunny when they aren't redundantly plugging the toy, Enright employs an idiotic green screen technique for the girls pretending to cheerfully walk down the street (looks like crummy back projection instead). There is no city to speak of, the film being set in L.A. but the script referring to them as girls from New York. And it's not a parody, merely a ripoff.
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