The Wizard of Lies (2017 TV Movie)

Nathan Darrow: Andrew Madoff

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bernie Madoff : The advisory is a fraud. There are no investments.

  Mark Madoff : What are you talking about? Of course there are invesments.

  Bernie Madoff : I've made them up.

  Mark Madoff : And our every statement?

  Bernie Madoff : I've made them up.

  Andrew Madoff : I've seen the trades.

  Bernie Madoff : They're fake. All fake. Basically, just a big Ponzi scheme.

  Ruth Madoff : What's a Ponzi scheme?

  Bernie Madoff : I took money from some people, I gave it to others and I'll never... now there's nothing left. There's supposed to be 50 Billion, there's absolutely nothing, it's all gone.

• Frank DiPascali : In my expierience, and I mean this, there's only four different types of pussy. Okay? I'm dead serious. You got your... Let me show you. I just saw one. All right, right there. See there? That's your Honda Civic pussy. Gets you where you wanna go. No shame in this pussy at all. Reliable. You just, you know, you're not gonna be proud to be seen riding around town in it, am I right? Nothing against her.

  Andrew Madoff : What's going on?

  BLM Employee : It's the world according to Frankie over there.

  Frank DiPascali : Right there. You see that there? That's your Buick Regal pussy. A step up from the Honda. Uh, generally, they're cleaner, okay? Roomier, you fit more passengers in there. I guess there's pros and cons to that in a pussy. You know, lovely pussy. Nobody's gonna mistake it for a Benz, though, am I right? Am I right, Robert? Okay, thank you. God bless you.

  Frank DiPascali : [continues]  Next up, my personal favourite. I just saw one. There. Now, don't make it obvious. Right there. That is you Lincoln Continental pussy. Beautiful. Just... It's just right. You know what I mean? Like Goldilocks, just right. It's not too fancy, it's not too plain. It just... It's just comfortable. It just fits. No, no, it's like an old pair of slippers except instead of your foot, you put your cock in it. Am I wrong?

  Frank DiPascali : [continues]  No, no, stay with me and hold all questions till the end. Okay. Right tere, you see that? Ugh. There it... Read it and weep. It's your Mercedes-Benz pussy. Right? Look at it. I mean, it's beautiful. It's just a feat of vaginal engineerig. No, it handles just great. It's sleek, it's tight, it looks good, it feels good, it smells good. But a lot of upkeep. Yeah? Payments are murder and you gotta wax it, you gotta polish it, you gotta talk to it, you gotta listen to it. And, most importantly, you gotta remain ever-vigilant that nobody fucking jacks it, right? You don't have to worry about that, 'cause you'll never get near anything like that. So don't worry about it.