- Courtney: I hate being on my period.
- Zach: Me too.
- Zach: Can I have some of your beer?
- Chet: Are you seriously mouthin' my bottle?
- Nick: You're right, dude. Jackie Chan is gonna be the most famous actor in the world in 10 years from now.
- Sir David: Here's a good one. Would you screw a dead body?
- Nick: What? No!
- Sir David: Are you serious?
- Nick: Are you serious?
- Sir David: I'm serious.
- Nick: You would f*** a dead body? That's disgusting.
- Sir David: Why?
- Nick: Because it's dead.
- Sir David: Not even Avril Levigne?
- Philicia: What the f*** is you doing?
- Rick: I gotta drop the Cosby kids off at the pool.
- Philicia: Cosby kids? What the f***? Cosby kids? I'll give you Cosby kids!
- Harvey: You know what the difference is between a woman and a washing machine?
- Harvey: A washing machine won't try to follow you around once you dump your load into it.
- Jane: That's nice, Harvey.
- Harvey: But... If you're feelin' lucky, I'm willing to take my chances.
- Hannah: Have you ever traveled outside the country?
- Lauren: Germany once.
- Hannah: That's something I think I wanna do before I die.
- Lauren: Go to Germany?
- Hannah: No... I just wanna travel. I think it's time I gotta Duck Hill.
- Lauren: You did just move to Rhode Island.
- Hannah: Yeah, but I wanna go to Europe.
- Hannah: I wanna grow out my armpits... And eat cheese... And speak French!