Game of Thrones (TV Series)

The Ghost of Harrenhal (2012)

Peter Dinklage: Tyrion Lannister

Photos 

Quotes 

• Protestor : Brother fornicates with sister in the bed of kings. Are we surprised when the fruit of their incest is rotten? Yes. A rotten king.

  Tyrion Lannister : It's hard to argue with his assessment.

  Bronn : Not after what he did to your birthday present.

  Tyrion Lannister : The king is a lost cause. It's the rest of us I'm worried about now.

• Tyrion Lannister : Stannis Baratheon is coming for us, sooner rather than later.

  Cersei Lannister : Aren't there other things you should be doing, like sealing my daughter in a crate so you can ship her away?

  Tyrion Lannister : She'll be safer in Dorne.

  Cersei Lannister : Yes, I know how "concerned" you are for her safety.

  Tyrion Lannister : It so happens that I am. Myrcella is a sweet, innocent girl, and I don't blame her at all for you.

  Cersei Lannister : So clever. Aren't you? Always so clever with your schemes and your plots.

  Tyrion Lannister : Schemes and plots are the same thing.

• [Lancel is in Tyrion's palanquin to discuss Cersei's plans] 

  Lancel Lannister : It's wildfire.

  Tyrion Lannister : Wildfire? You wouldn't lie to me, would you, cousin?

  Lancel Lannister : No.

  Tyrion Lannister : That's a lie right there.

  Lancel Lannister : It is NOT a lie. Why would I lie?

  Tyrion Lannister : Tell me: if the vile allegations against my brother and sister are true, do you think it will make Jaime more likely to kill you, or less likely? When I tell him you're fucking her, I mean.

  Lancel Lannister : I'm telling you the truth...

  Tyrion Lannister : The smart money would be on "more likely".

  Lancel Lannister : She's making wildfire, I sw...

  Tyrion Lannister : But then, perhaps his own unnatural urges would give him sympathy for yours.

  Lancel Lannister : The Alchemists' Guild is being commissioned...

  Tyrion Lannister : I suppose there's only one way to find out.

  Lancel Lannister : They have thousands of pots, already stored in their vaults. They are planning to launch it from the city walls in Stannis' ships and armies. Please!

  Tyrion Lannister : When did she tell you this?

  Lancel Lannister : I heard her talking with the pyromancer. And the other night, after I left her, she went to meet him. I swear to you.

  Tyrion Lannister : Swear to me on what?

  Lancel Lannister : On my life!

  Tyrion Lannister : But I don't care about your life.

  Lancel Lannister : In the light of the Seven, by all that is holy and right, I, Lancel Lannister, do solemnly vow...

  Tyrion Lannister : All right, all right, enough. Even torturing you is boring. Just get out.

  [Tyrion kicks Lancel out of the palanquin] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Oh, Lancel, tell my friend Bronn to please kill you if anything should happen to me.

  [Bronn, who is waiting outside, looks at Lancel expectantly] 

  Lancel Lannister : Please kill me if anything should happen to Lord Tyrion.

  [Lancel runs away] 

  Bronn : It will be my pleasure.

• Tyrion Lannister : I remember reading an old sailor's proverb. Piss on wildfire and your cock burns off.

  Hallyne : Oh, I have not conducted this experiment. It could well be true.

• [Tyrion and Cersei are discussing Renly's mysterious death] 

  Cersei Lannister : Killed? By whom?

  Tyrion Lannister : Accounts differ. Most seem to implicate Catelyn Stark in some way.

  Cersei Lannister : Really? Who'd have thought?

  Tyrion Lannister : Some say it was one of his own Kingsguard, while still others say it was Stannis himself who did it after negotiations went sour.

  Cersei Lannister : Whomever did it, I say well done.

  Tyrion Lannister : That's not what Varys says. He says Renly's army is flocking to support Stannis, which would give Stannis superiority over us on both land and sea.

  Cersei Lannister : Littlefinger says we can outspend him three-to-one.

  Tyrion Lannister : And I say Father raised you to have too much respect for money.