Freak Out (2003)

Brad Jones: Dean

Photos 

Quotes 

• [slaps Wayne in the back of the head] 

  Dean : What the fuck, Wayne?

• Wayne : Maybe she fucking didn't take a drink while we were downstairs.

  Dean : Are you fucking kidding me? She's the most depressing one out of us all, and that's fucking saying something, my friend!

• Dean : Here's to you, Wayne. Despite all the fakeness of your surroundings, you always know one-hundred percent what's going on around you, even if you fail to choose it as a reality, and that, my friend, is your flaw.

• Dean : That-a boy, Wayne. You fucking got your balls back.

• Dean : You always were a pussy, Wayne.

  Wayne : Listen, I can tolerate more drugs than you can.

  Tim : Oh my, those are fighting words.

• Rhonda : Had to get away from it all, huh?

  Dean : Yeah, yeah, something like that.

• [pulls out a syringe to use on Corkscrew] 

  Wayne : What's in that?

  Dean : Absolutely nothing.

• [Dean opens the door and is taken aback when he sees Rhonda] 

  Dean : I, uh, didn't know there was going to be anyone else here. Uh, what a nice surprise.

• David : What are you gonna do to him, Dean?

  Dean : Glad you asked me that, David. Alright, now here's the thing. I'm looking at these tools over there, okay? I'm thinking originality is the key to torture. If it's not original, all you do is, just, you're assaulting a quick death, and that, my friends, just pisses off your victims.

  [Corkscrew moans] 

  David : Good point.

  [Dean puts on his surgeon's mask] 

  Dean : How old? Looks pretty young.

  David : I'm not sure.

  Wayne : He looks like a teenager.

  Dean : Good one, Wayne. He does look like a teenager. Now the question is, is whether or not he's a man, and there's only one way to find that out.

  David : You don't want me to pull out his dick, do you?

  Dean : No, I want Wayne to pull out his dick.

  [Dean and David laugh as Wayne reveals Corkscrew's penis] 

  David : That is one small motherfucking dick.

  Dean : Alright, now let's give him a break, okay? Now the thing is about penises, when it's unerect, really, the only way you can decide if, uh, if it's, uh, what length it gets to is not by the size of it, okay? It's by the loose skin that hangs around the sides. Now, a penis can be erect, and be like maybe ten, twelve inches. It could still feasibly be only, only about like an inch, but would have that ring of loose skin hanging around it

  David : Alright, alright. So how much loose skin is there?

  Dean : Not much. Not much, really. I say this probably gets to about, uh, three, not three. Maybe five, six inches erect. That's not good.

  Wayne : Isn't that average?

  Dean : Whoever said average is a suitable size for a dick is still a virgin.

  [puts on surgeon's mask and prepares corkscrew] 

  Dean : Alright, hold it up.

  [Corkscrew starts to grumble in worry] 

• Dean : What you gonna do? With that gun? You're gonna fucking shoot me Wayne? You'd be fucking doing me a favour! Go ahead... fucking shoot me! Just fucking shoot me, you'd be doing all of us a big favour. Go ahead... SHOOT ME! SHUT UP! YOU CAN'T DO IT HUH, YOU CAN'T SHOOT ME! YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING! FUCKING SHOOT ME! YOU FUCK! YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING! He won't do it. He won't fucking shoot me.