The Simpsons (TV Series)

Moe Goes from Rags to Riches (2012)

Jeremy Irons: Bar Rag

Quotes 

• Bar Rag : [Rolling in a drier]  I'm in Hell... I'm in Hell... I'm in Hell... I'm in Hell...

• Bar Rag : [Being cradled by Moe while he sleeps]  And so, my thousand year fall from grace is complete. But I guess it's not so bad. Here I have a certain comfort, if predictable...

  [a hand grabs the rag] 

  Bar Rag : Moe! Moe, wake up! I don't want to meet someone worse than you!

• Bar Rag : [Ends up as Santa's Little Helper's blanket]  At long last, this is true love. Sweet, pure and forever.

  [Cut to Maggie and Santa's Little Helper fighting over the rag] 

  Bar Rag : Well, all marriages have their ups and downs.

• Bar Rag : That was the first time I felt pain and anguish. Nothing can ever ease that painful memory.

  [a mug of beer spills and the rag soaks up the beer] 

  Bar Rag : Oh! Well, that helps.

  [Belch] 

• Bar Rag : And by the way, that tapestry was me.

  Sponge : Yeah, right. And I'm the Guttenberg Bible.

• Bar Rag : I was hung in a beautiful cathedral, where tapestries were considered rock stars. I was admired by what you now call gropies. I thought the good times known as the Dark Ages would never end, but then cruel fate came knocking at the door.