Mockingbird Lane (2012 TV Movie)

Eddie Izzard: Grandpa

Photos 

Quotes 

• Herman Munster : Eddie knows I'm lying to him.

  Grandpa : He can smell your deceit. You've never raised a werewolf. I have.

  Herman Munster : Have you raised one successfully?

  Grandpa : My son Leslie was born covered in hair. I knew exactly how to raise him.

  Herman Munster : You hired nannies to raise him, and then you let him eat the nannies.

  Grandpa : That's what they were hired for.

  Herman Munster : I know exactly how to raise Eddie.

  Grandpa : You were never a Munster until I made you a Munster. Eddie was born one. There's nothing you have done or can do as a parent that will change that.

• Grandpa : Edward, stop playing with your food.

  Eddie Munster : I will if you will.

  Grandpa : That is a gross cliche, and it is beneath you.

  Eddie Munster : [to Steve]  My grandpa's gonna eat you.

  Marilyn Munster : Is that happening tonight? Hmm?

• Herman Munster : You ate a lion while naked.

  Grandpa : The lion was naked. It seemed polite.

• Marilyn Munster : I'm touched that you'd miss me.

  Grandpa : Marilyn, I adore you. I was the one that talked your mother out of eating you.

• Grandpa : There is an important intermediate step that we are missing here. The deer eats the grass and is itself eaten, and then the thing that ate it dies and fertilizes the ground so more grass can grow, so more deer can eat, and then... be eaten.

  Marilyn Munster : But some deer can live long lives.

  Grandpa : Nope.

  Marilyn Munster : Also, as an intermediary step, sometimes deer want to be eaten. They're depressed and lonely, so that lion's doing the deer a favor.

  Eddie Munster : That deer didn't look depressed.

  Marilyn Munster : No, I know. I thought I saw it smile.

  Eddie Munster : Does anything eat the lion?

  Marilyn Munster : Grandpa.

  Grandpa : It's nature.

• Marilyn Munster : What will the neighbors think?

  Grandpa : The neighbors should be more concerned with what I'm thinking.

• Steve : You have all made me feel so at home. I feel like I'm sitting down having dinner with my own family.

  Grandpa : Part of you is.

• Herman Munster : Steve, we will see you at the next Wildlife Explorer meeting.

  Steve : Good night. And god bless.

  Grandpa : [chuckles]  Fat chance. See you later, Steve.

• Grandpa : I preferred it when the village was further away and we had a moat.

  Marilyn Munster : The best moats are made of good manners and filled with congeniality.

  Grandpa : Then I shall make cookies.

  Marilyn Munster : Cookies?