Game of Thrones (TV Series)

Kissed by Fire (2013)

Peter Dinklage: Tyrion Lannister

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Quotes 

• Tywin Lannister : There, you see? You will wed her, bed her, and put a child in her. Surely you're capable of that.

  Tyrion Lannister : And if I refuse?

  Tywin Lannister : You wanted to be rewarded for your valor in battle. Sansa Stark is a finer reward than you could ever dare hope for. And it is past time you were wed.

  Tyrion Lannister : [angrily]  I was wed. Or don't you remember you?

  Tywin Lannister : [displeased with his son's tone]  Only too well.

  [Cersei smiles at her brother gloatingly] 

  Cersei Lannister : You should be thanking the gods for this. This is more than you deserve.

  Tywin Lannister : Tyrion will do as he's bid.

  [Tywin turns to Cersei] 

  Tywin Lannister : As will you.

  [Cersei's smile fades. She turns to her father, confused and uncertain of what he's talking about] 

  Cersei Lannister : What do you mean?

  Tywin Lannister : You'll marry Ser Loras.

  [Tyrion's eyes go from his father to his sister] 

  Cersei Lannister : I will not.

  Tywin Lannister : The boy is heir to Highgarden. Tyrion will secure the North. You will secure the Reach.

  Cersei Lannister : No, I won't do it.

  Tywin Lannister : Yes, you will. You're still fertile. You need to marry and breed.

  Cersei Lannister : [snaps with intense anger]  I am Queen Regent, not some broodmare.

  Tywin Lannister : [shouts angrily and almost interrupting her]  You're my daughter! You will do as I command and you will marry Loras Tyrell and put an end to the disgusting rumors about you once and for all.

  Cersei Lannister : [pleading]  Father, don't make me do it again, please.

  [Tywin gets up, pounding the table with his fist] 

  Tywin Lannister : Not another word!

  [Tywin looks at his children with complete disappointment] 

  Tywin Lannister : My children. You've disgraced the Lannister name for far too long.

• [Olenna is in Tyrion's chambers to discuss the royal wedding. Pod accidentally overfills her cup of wine] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Gods, boy, that's enough, we're not in a tavern.

  Podrick Payne : Pardon, milady...

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : [cutting him off]  No need to speak. Are there any figs? Fetch some.

  [Pod leaves] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : I always take figs mid-afternoon. They help move the bowels. To what do I owe this summons?

  Tyrion Lannister : Thank you for seeing me, my lady. I had hoped we might discuss a few financial matters.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : I climbed all those steps to discuss "financial matters"?

  Tyrion Lannister : It's the royal wedding. I'm told you had a hand in planning it.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Naturally.

  Tyrion Lannister : It's shaping up to be a very involved affair. The word "extravagant" has been used.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : What good is the word "extravagant" if it can't be used to describe a royal wedding?

  Tyrion Lannister : I understand that.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Good.

  Tyrion Lannister : But, as Master of Coin, it falls upon me to calculate the cost for the crown. As of now, it's a huge expense.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : And?

  Tyrion Lannister : And... we're at war, Lady Olenna.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Ah. I'd nearly forgotten.

  Tyrion Lannister : Yes, and maintaining supply lines...

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : [cutting him off]  I can't think how it slipped my mind. What is it, twelve thousand infantrymen the Tyrell family has supplied? Eighteen hundred mounted lances. Two thousand in support. Provisions, so this city might survive the winter. A millions bushels of wheat. Half a million bushels each of barley, oats, and rye. Twenty thousand head of cattle. Fifty thousand sheep. You don't have to lecture me about wartime expenses, I'm quite familiar with them.

  Tyrion Lannister : And we are so grateful for your contributions, which are necessary for the preservation of the realm.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : As is a royal wedding. The people are hungry for more than just food. They crave distractions. And if we don't provide them, they'll create their own. And their distractions are likely to end with us being torn to pieces. A royal wedding is much safer, wouldn't you say?

  Tyrion Lannister : I would.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : And traditionally paid for by the royal family.

  [pause] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : I was told you were drunk, impertinent, and thoroughly debauched. You can imagine my disappointment at finding nothing but a browbeaten bookkeeper.

  [Pod returns with a plate of figs] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Where did you go for them, Volantis?

  [Olenna takes a fig and bites into it] 

  Tyrion Lannister : My lady...

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Oh, very well. I won't have it said that House Tyrell refuses to play its part. We'll pay for half the expenses, and the celebrations will go on as planned. Is that sufficient?

  [Olenna stands. Tyrion stands as well, before she can change her mind] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Quite sufficient, thank you.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Very good, then. That's settled. Good day.

• [Tyrion enters Tywin's meeting chambers. He sees his sister and his father sitting at the table] 

  Tywin Lannister : You're late.

  Tyrion Lannister : What is she doing here?

  Tywin Lannister : Our business concerns her too. Sit.

  [Tywin sits with a thick book in his hand] 

  Tyrion Lannister : You'll be pleased to learn that after one conversation with Olenna Tyrell, I've saved the Crown hundreds of thousands on this wedding.

  Tywin Lannister : Never mind that now. We have something important to discuss.

  Tyrion Lannister : I'm Master of Coin. Saving money is important.

  [Cersei smirks to the point of almost snickering. He looks at her with fuming annoyance] 

  Tyrion Lannister : [to Cersei]  Stop that. You're making me uncomfortable.

  Tywin Lannister : Your sister has learned that your new friends the Tyrells are plotting marry Sansa Stark to Ser Loras.

  Tyrion Lannister : Very well. She's a lovely girl. Missing some of Loras' favorite bits, but I'm sure they'll make do.

  Tywin Lannister : Your jokes are not appreciated.

  Tyrion Lannister : It wasn't my best, but I thought...

  Tywin Lannister : [interrupting Tyrion]  I bring them into the royal fold and this is how they repay me, by trying to steal the key to the North out from under me.

  Tyrion Lannister : Sansa is the key to the North? I seem to remember she has an older brother.

  Tywin Lannister : The Karstarks have marched home. The Young Wolf has lost half his army. His days are numbered. Theon Greyjoy murdered both his brothers. That makes Sansa Stark the heir to Winterfell. And I'm not about to hand her over to the Tyrells.

  Tyrion Lannister : The Tyrell army is helping us to win this war. Do you really think it's wise to refuse them?

  Tywin Lannister : There's nothing to refuse. This is a plot. Plots are not public knowledge. And the Tyrells won't carry this one out until after Joffrey's wedding. We need to act first and kill this union in its crib.

  Tyrion Lannister : And how do we do that?

  Tywin Lannister : We find Sansa Stark a different husband.

  Tyrion Lannister : Wonderful.

  Cersei Lannister : Yes, it is.

  [Tyrion looks at his sister beaming at him. His eyes widen and immediately learns he's the one his father plans to marry Sansa Stark. He looks back at his father, appalled] 

  Tyrion Lannister : You can't mean it.

  Tywin Lannister : I can and I do.

  Tyrion Lannister : Joffrey has made this poor girl's life miserable since the day he took her father's head. Now she's finally free of him and you want her to give her to me? That's cruel even for you.

  Tywin Lannister : Do you intend on mistreating her? The girl's happiness is not my concern - nor should it be yours.

  Tyrion Lannister : She's a child!

  Cersei Lannister : She's flowered, I assure you. She and I have discussed it at length.