Game of Thrones (TV Series)

Kissed by Fire (2013)

Daniel Portman: Podrick Payne

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Quotes 

• [Olenna is in Tyrion's chambers to discuss the royal wedding. Pod accidentally overfills her cup of wine] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Gods, boy, that's enough, we're not in a tavern.

  Podrick Payne : Pardon, milady...

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : [cutting him off]  No need to speak. Are there any figs? Fetch some.

  [Pod leaves] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : I always take figs mid-afternoon. They help move the bowels. To what do I owe this summons?

  Tyrion Lannister : Thank you for seeing me, my lady. I had hoped we might discuss a few financial matters.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : I climbed all those steps to discuss "financial matters"?

  Tyrion Lannister : It's the royal wedding. I'm told you had a hand in planning it.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Naturally.

  Tyrion Lannister : It's shaping up to be a very involved affair. The word "extravagant" has been used.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : What good is the word "extravagant" if it can't be used to describe a royal wedding?

  Tyrion Lannister : I understand that.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Good.

  Tyrion Lannister : But, as Master of Coin, it falls upon me to calculate the cost for the crown. As of now, it's a huge expense.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : And?

  Tyrion Lannister : And... we're at war, Lady Olenna.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Ah. I'd nearly forgotten.

  Tyrion Lannister : Yes, and maintaining supply lines...

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : [cutting him off]  I can't think how it slipped my mind. What is it, twelve thousand infantrymen the Tyrell family has supplied? Eighteen hundred mounted lances. Two thousand in support. Provisions, so this city might survive the winter. A millions bushels of wheat. Half a million bushels each of barley, oats, and rye. Twenty thousand head of cattle. Fifty thousand sheep. You don't have to lecture me about wartime expenses, I'm quite familiar with them.

  Tyrion Lannister : And we are so grateful for your contributions, which are necessary for the preservation of the realm.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : As is a royal wedding. The people are hungry for more than just food. They crave distractions. And if we don't provide them, they'll create their own. And their distractions are likely to end with us being torn to pieces. A royal wedding is much safer, wouldn't you say?

  Tyrion Lannister : I would.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : And traditionally paid for by the royal family.

  [pause] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : I was told you were drunk, impertinent, and thoroughly debauched. You can imagine my disappointment at finding nothing but a browbeaten bookkeeper.

  [Pod returns with a plate of figs] 

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Where did you go for them, Volantis?

  [Olenna takes a fig and bites into it] 

  Tyrion Lannister : My lady...

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Oh, very well. I won't have it said that House Tyrell refuses to play its part. We'll pay for half the expenses, and the celebrations will go on as planned. Is that sufficient?

  [Olenna stands. Tyrion stands as well, before she can change her mind] 

  Tyrion Lannister : Quite sufficient, thank you.

  Lady Olenna Tyrell : Very good, then. That's settled. Good day.