The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Rothman Disintegration (2012)

John Ross Bowie: Barry Kripke

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barry Kripke : How does it work?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, it's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

  Barry Kripke : I'm sowwy, can you wepeat that?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, of course. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

  Barry Kripke : Almost got it. One more time?

  Sheldon Cooper : Sure! Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock...

  Howard Wolowitz : Hey, Sheldon!

  Sheldon Cooper : ...rock crushes...

  Howard Wolowitz : Stop. He's screwing with you.

  Sheldon Cooper : Is he? Well, then, seems we have reached an impasse. I see no other option than to challenge you to a duel. I'd smack you with a glove, but just last week, I packed away my winter things.

• Sheldon Cooper : [at the urinals at work]  Kripke.

  Barry Kripke : Yes.

  Sheldon Cooper : You're in my spot.

• Leonard Hofstadter : There's not much you're both equally good at.

  Raj Koothrappali : Is there anything you're both equally bad at?

  Sheldon Cooper , Barry Kripke : Sports.

• Sheldon Cooper : Kripke. Come in. I'm making tea. Would you like a cup?

  Barry Kripke : Am I weawing a summer fwock? No, I don't want tea. Wet's get down to bwass tacks.

  Sheldon Cooper : Fine. In the interest of preserving our friendship...

  Barry Kripke : We're not fwiends.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, that's a little hard to hear, but all right. As you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise. With that in mind, I propose the following. I will take Rothman's office, and you will find a way to be okay with that.

  Barry Kripke : How about I take Wothman's office and you go suck a wemon?

• Sheldon Cooper : [in the rest room]  President Seibert?

  President Siebert : Can't this wait?

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, we just need a word.

  President Siebert : Now? You realize I'm your boss and I am holding my penis.

  Barry Kripke : Sheldon, give the man some pwivacy. I'm sowwy, this guy's got no wespect for boundawies.