A Haunted House (2013)
Cedric The Entertainer: Father Williams
Photos
Quotes
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Father Williams : Tic tac toe in yo' face!
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Malcolm : Oh, Father. Thank God you could make it.
Father Williams : Nigger, call me Doug. I don't like being called "Father." No way. Plus, I got a couple issues with a few people out there claiming false child support. I mean, just 'cause the little nigger got my eyes, my nose, my extremely rare AB-negative blood type, don't mean I'm the damn daddy.
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Father Williams : Hey, guys. Gentlemen, what we have here is a crazy bitch. Now, I would leave her possessed ass in the alley downtown if it was me, but apparently, Malcolm's got a thing for the freak.
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Malcolm : Oh, my God! What did you do?
Father Williams : Shit, I did you a favor.
Malcolm : Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Rosa!
Rosa : I just wanted my last check, Malcolm.
Malcolm : Oh, my God, you shot my housekeeper.
Father Williams : You mean, your ex-housekeeper. Look, man, the bitch can't be jumping out on me like that. You ain't gonna tell nobody, right? I got warrants.
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Father Williams : I'm Father Doug. I'm here to unpossess you.
Kisha : Do you know how to connect the cuts?
Father Williams : Uh. Uh. Uh.
Father Williams : Tic tac toe in your face!"
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Father Williams : Man, that breath is kickin. I can only image what the kitty smell like.
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Father Williams : Uh, bro, I'm gonna have to level with you. This bitch don't look right. I mean, she look all ashy and shit, and just... You know, like E.T. with a weave. If I was you, I'd just be out. Let's just go. Come on. Let's go.
Malcolm : Uh, I... I can't leave her. That's my girl.
Father Williams : Are you kidding me? Come on, man. There's so much pussy in the world, man. You don't have to be with just her. Come to the congregation. I've got a few in the congregation, I'm trying to tell you.
[Father Williams pulls a photo from his wallet]
Father Williams : Check this out. Now, I know she look old. I know she... But she a freak, and she got skills.
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Dan the Security Man : So what you're saying is there's an actual demon here in the house.
Father Williams : It's in the bitch! I'm sorry, ho. No disrespect.