- Howard Wolowitz: You're a grown man! Act like one. Tell Amy you wanna spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends.
- Raj Koothrappali: When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of nonviolence, I bet he didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That'd be my boyfriend. Happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends than hanging out with me.
- Penny: Wars.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: What?
- Penny: Star Wars. They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, what's the difference?
- Penny: There's absolutely no difference!
- Sheldon Cooper: I always thought if I were ever enslaved, it would be by an advanced species from another planet. Not some hotsie-totsie from Glendale.
- Penny: Who's Armen the miniature horse breeder?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: The pretend boyfriend I invented to get my family off my back. It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question "How'd you two meet?"
- Penny: I would have thought at a miniature horse show.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, that's good.
- [last lines]
- Mrs. Wolowitz: [pounds on the door] Howard Joel Wolowitz, I've been worried sick for two days and I know you turned off your phone. You open up this door right now, because I've had it up to here. I have been to the morgue and the hospital, and I've spent the last half hour walking up these farkakte stairs.
- Howard Wolowitz: That's my ride. Gotta go.
- [Sheldon uses the 'whip-crack' app sound]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, my relatives are going to want to talk to you and you're going to be sitting there playing a game? Isn't that a little rude?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I got that covered. Headset. I won't hear a word the old geezers are saying.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you, and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends.
- Penny: Yeah, you pick that bone; you pick that bone clean.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems if I wasn't in shock that Sheldon has girl problems.
- Penny: Amy? What's the matter?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: My boyfriend's a jerk!
- Penny: Well! I know he didn't *cheat* on you!
- Raj Koothrappali: None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was going to be like the old days: the four of us, hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what's it like to be the only one *without* a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after *Sheldon Cooper*!
- Penny: And that's how a girl makes a scene.
- Sheldon Cooper: When's the last time I asked you to do something for me?
- Penny: Yesterday. You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.
- Sheldon Cooper: When is the last time I asked you to do something that wasn't a medical emergency?
- Penny: Yesterday. You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.
- Sheldon Cooper: All right then, I have no choice but to go on to plan B.
- Penny: What's that?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm gonna run around outside with a wet head and try to catch a cold.
- Penny: [to Amy about Sheldon] Girlfriend 101: you withhold sex from him. But, that only works once Sheldon reaches puberty.
- Sheldon Cooper: I think I understand. You're the one person who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend, but that rings hollow if you can't lord him over others in the flesh.
- Sheldon Cooper: Gentlemen, the game offers us a choice between playing for the Republic and the light side or the Sith Empire and the dark side.
- Leonard Hofstadter: We're always the good guys. In D&D, we're lawful good. In City of Heroes, we're the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat
- Sheldon Cooper: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research.
- Penny: Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone you really care about, the sucky part is it leaves you open to getting hurt.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you?
- Penny: That's hilarious. No.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy playing intergalactic make-believe, he and I have other plans. We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party.
- Sheldon Cooper: Just tell her I can't come.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: She'll be disappointed if we don't show up.
- Sheldon Cooper: She's 93. She won't be disappointed for very long.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Bernadette, remember your character's the healer in our group. You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I can't help it. My Howie-Wowie has an owie!
- Sheldon Cooper: That is the most sickeningly sweet thing I have ever experienced, and I am sipping Kool-Aid through a Red Vine.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Now hang on. I followed all the protocols set forth by you in the relationship agreement. I made a written request seventy-two hours in advance. Checked the tire pressure on the car. I even contacted the Centers for Disease Control to find out what shots they recommend for travel to Orange County. FYI, it's none.
- Sheldon Cooper: Amy, the Relationship Agreement was not designed for either one of us to get our way.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You use it to get your way.
- Sheldon Cooper: I use it to get the right way. The fact that the right way is also my way is a happy coincidence.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, clear your weekend. Starting Saturday morning, Star Wars marathon!
- Raj Koothrappali: Woo-hoo!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Movies or video-games? Or board games? Or trading card games? Or Legos? Or dress-up? Or comic books? Or dramatic readings of novelizations? Yes to all!
- Leonard Hofstadter: We are going to play the on-line game.
- Sheldon Cooper: The on-line game. Bully!
- Sheldon Cooper: These are Cooper Coupons. These are for various things I can do for you. This one is for one free grammar check. You can use it for emails, letters, tattoos, what have you. Oh, this is a fun one. This is an afternoon with me at the California Science Center, where I point out their mistakes.
- Sheldon Cooper: Who wants to spend the whole weekend running around a bunch of pretend planets battling made-up monsters? That's for babies.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
- Sheldon Cooper: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!
- [first lines]
- Raj Koothrappali: Hey, wanna spend some time playing the new Star Wars game this weekend?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Mmm, I don't know. I kind of promised myself I'd get off the computer, be more physically active, get some exercise.
- Howard Wolowitz: You're about to walk up three flights of stairs.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Good point. I'm in!
- Raj Koothrappali: You know what would be great? Let's do it like the old days.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You talking gaming marathon?
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah! Start Saturday morning, go 48 hours, sleeping bags, junk food...
- Howard Wolowitz: Turn off our phones so our moms can't call...
- Leonard Hofstadter: It'd be like our World of Warcraft party a few years ago when the neighbors called the cops on us.
- Howard Wolowitz: They called the cops because of the smell; they thought we were dead.
- Raj Koothrappali: We were bad-ass back in the day.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Alright, let's do it!
- Howard Wolowitz: 48 hours of Star Wars gaming.
- Raj Koothrappali: It's on, like Alderaan!