- Shoshanna Shapiro: Have you not seen Rent?
- Marnie Michaels: Please, I've seen it like 12 times. That's basically why I moved to NY.
- Marnie Michaels: I was just thinking, I've been sexually irresponsible enough in my life thus far that I should have gotten pregnant by now and I never have. Like, I get my period at the same time, on the same day, of every monthly cycle, my entire life, like it's never strayed from that.
- Hannah Horvath: Then you're really lucky. I never know when I'm going to get my period, and it's always a surprise, and that's why all my underwear are covered in weird stains.
- Jessa Johansson: I'm offended by all of the supposed to's. I don't like women telling other women what to do or how to do it or when to do it.
- Hannah Horvath: I have a very bad fear of AIDS.
- Gynecologist: Have you known someone with AIDS?
- Hannah Horvath: It's more of a Forrest Gump based fear. That's what Robin Wright Penn's character died of.
- Hannah Horvath: [Sarcastic] How could she ruin the beautiful abortion that you threw?
- Marnie Michaels: Hannah! That's not what I meant.
- Marnie Michaels: You're a really good friend, and you threw a really good abortion.
- Marnie Michaels: Oh stop it.
- Shoshanna Shapiro: You did.
- Marnie Michaels: I'm sorry about
- [Charlie]
- Marnie Michaels: . He' so busy, like, respecting me, you know, that he looks right past me and everything that I need from him.
- Hannah Horvath: Okay you are a 23-year old girl who's had the same boyfriend for the past 4 years, so you're also allowed to be bored.
- Hannah Horvath: I'm sorry if I minimized it, I'm just unwilling to accept the idea you have too great a boyfriend.