The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Launch Acceleration (2012)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Howard Wolowitz : I'm going to level with you. I'm terrified about going into space. Y'know, what if I don't make it back?

  Mr. Rostenkowski : It's gonna be okay, son.

  Howard Wolowitz : You really think so?

  Mr. Rostenkowski : Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette, she'll find a new guy.

• Howard Wolowitz : Well, that's it. My orders have been rescinded; I am officially no-go to space.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sorry, Howard. But I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going.

  Howard Wolowitz : Why?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians.

  Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, so?

  Leonard Hofstadter : When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, "Ooh, check out this Blu-Ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia."?

  Howard Wolowitz : Well, their technology isn't that bad.

  Raj Koothrappali : When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free fall, from space, at 500 miles per hour, and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground. And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle.

  Howard Wolowitz : Right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried.

  Raj Koothrappali : You weren't?

  Howard Wolowitz : Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek; I live it.

  Raj Koothrappali : Oh, please, I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space, and brags about it in a tuxedo store.

  Howard Wolowitz : Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.

  Sheldon Cooper : Ah, much better!

  Leonard Hofstadter : You must be burning up

  Sheldon Cooper : A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them. Well, I cut quite the dashing yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like The Flash, about to get married. Oh, a tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!

  [Runs outside] 

  Jimmy : Uh, where is he going?

  Leonard Hofstadter : He keeps emergency Purell in the car.

• [first lines] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [phone rings, Howard presses speaker-phone]  Howard Wolowitz.

  Dave Roeger : Hey, Howard. Dave Roeger here at NASA. We need to talk about your upcoming mission.

  Howard Wolowitz : Yes, yes! I've been doing my pushups. I'm still stuck at nine, but... that's going all the way down with no-one holding me.

  Dave Roeger : That's great, uh, but that's not why I called. We've run into a bit of a snafu. Your Soyuz capsule failed the pressurization test, so, bottom line, mission's been scrubbed.

  Howard Wolowitz : [picks up handset]  You're kidding. So what does that mean?

  Howard Wolowitz : Uh-huh.

  Howard Wolowitz : Uh-huh.

  Howard Wolowitz : Boy, I gotta tell you I'm really disappointed. This was my dream ever since I was a little kid.

  Howard Wolowitz : Okay, thanks for the call.

  Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, you too.

  [he hangs up] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Yes! thank heavens!

  [laughs hysterically] 

  Howard Wolowitz : I'm not going to die in space! Whoo, now I can die the way God intended; in my late fifties with a heartful of pastrami.

• Mr. Rostenkowski : [cracks walnuts with his bare hand]  Walnut?

  Howard Wolowitz : No, thank you. I'm allergic.

  Mr. Rostenkowski : Ah sure. My partner used to have that. He's dead now.

  Howard Wolowitz : From nuts?

  Mr. Rostenkowski : Nah, his wife shot him. But she was nuts, so in a way.

• Howard Wolowitz : Hey, I was thinking: for our first dance at the wedding, what if we learned the final number from 'Dirty Dancing'?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : You're kidding!

  Howard Wolowitz : No, come on, how cool would that be? Me, running into your arms; you, lifting me up into the air.

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, you're in a good mood.

  Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, well, why wouldn't I be? I'm marrying the girl of my dreams, and finally got my mother to agree not to come on our honeymoon.