The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Launch Acceleration (2012)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Amy Farrah Fowler : [Amy is in a Star Trek tunic holding a medical tricorder near Sheldon]  Hello, Leonard.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What are you doing?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : We're playing doctor... Star Trek style.

  [winks] 

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm in hell, Leonard.

  Sheldon Cooper : [to Amy]  Don't stop.

• Sheldon Cooper : Can I ask you a question about women?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I got you that book last year; wasn't everything in there?

  Sheldon Cooper : No. I'm having a relationship problem with Amy. And by the way, that book gave me nightmares.

• Sheldon Cooper : I must say, I was surprised you chose to spend our Date Night in your apartment. As I mentioned, the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times, and later the Lego store is having a Midnight Madness Sale. You ask anyone, that's a hot date.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Tempting choices but, I have something special planned for tonight.

  Sheldon Cooper : What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny Lego Indiana Jones?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : With our friends moving forward in their relationships, I have decided that we should make progress in ours as well.

  Sheldon Cooper : Dear Lord! Two years ago we didn't even know each other. And now, I'm in your apartment after dark. How much faster can this thing go?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I had a feeling you'd be reluctant which is why I'm going to dip into my neurobiological bag of tricks.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh! You brain monkeys kill me. Dip away.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I've devised an experiment that I believe will increase your feelings for me, in an accelerated time frame.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, how do you propose to do that? I hope you're not thinking about some sort of LSD thought control. Because there's only one mind-expanding drug that this man enjoys, and that's called school.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Human beings form emotional attachments as they grow up. In your case, to your mother, superheroes, etc. I'm going to attempt an experiment that will get you to transfer those feelings to me.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, seems what's on the menu tonight is malarkey, with a big side of poppycock.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : We'll see. Let's start with a little romantic dinner music, shall we?

  Sheldon Cooper : Super Mario Bros. theme?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Yes.

  Sheldon Cooper : I see what you're doing. You're attempting to build on the work of Ebbinghaus by triggering an involuntary memory of me playing that game. Admittedly the happiest 600 hours of my childhood. But it won't work!

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Fine! There's no reason we still can't have a lovely dinner. Why don't you have a seat.

  [Sheldon hums the background music, while Amy smiles] 

  Amy Farrah Fowler : May I offer you something to drink?

  Sheldon Cooper : You know I don't drink.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Not even strawberry Quik?

  Sheldon Cooper : I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid. Narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, I know. I think it will go nicely with what I have prepared for dinner.

  Sheldon Cooper : Spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it!

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Just like your mommy used to make.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh! Yummy yummy! We should do this more often.

• Sheldon Cooper : Amy has embarked on a campaign to increase my feelings for her, by making me happy.

• Howard Wolowitz : Well, that's it. My orders have been rescinded; I am officially no-go to space.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sorry, Howard. But I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going.

  Howard Wolowitz : Why?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians.

  Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, so?

  Leonard Hofstadter : When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, "Ooh, check out this Blu-Ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia."?

  Howard Wolowitz : Well, their technology isn't that bad.

  Raj Koothrappali : When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free fall, from space, at 500 miles per hour, and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground. And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle.

  Howard Wolowitz : Right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried.

  Raj Koothrappali : You weren't?

  Howard Wolowitz : Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek; I live it.

  Raj Koothrappali : Oh, please, I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space, and brags about it in a tuxedo store.

  Howard Wolowitz : Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.

  Sheldon Cooper : Ah, much better!

  Leonard Hofstadter : You must be burning up

  Sheldon Cooper : A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them. Well, I cut quite the dashing yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like The Flash, about to get married. Oh, a tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!

  [Runs outside] 

  Jimmy : Uh, where is he going?

  Leonard Hofstadter : He keeps emergency Purell in the car.

• Sheldon Cooper : [exiting change room]  I'm going to need a larger shirt! This one's a little tight under the arms.

  Jimmy : Okay.

  [takes shirt] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Do you think maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, of course that's why it's tight.

  Leonard Hofstadter : All right, let me rephrase the question. Why are you wearing long underwear?

  Sheldon Cooper : You're kidding! Shouldn't the question be "Why *aren't* you?"

  Leonard Hofstadter : No, it should be "Why are you?"

  Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, these rental tuxedos have been worn by *hundreds* of sweaty strangers. Yeah, I don't like my own sweat touching my skin; how do you think I feel about theirs?

  Jimmy : Why don't you slip this on?

  Sheldon Cooper : Said the hangman, offering a noose.

  [returns to change room] 

  Raj Koothrappali : Well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes, but it was right up there.