- Skipper: This isn't a catastrophe. This is a... catastrotunity!
- Kowalski: [baffled] A catastrotunity?
- Skipper: Catastrotunity! Beautiful word.
- Kowalski: [still confused] Catastro... tunity?
- Skipper: Catastrotunity.
- Kowalski: You just made that up, didn't you?
- [Skipper grabs Kowalski's head, pulls him towards him and then leans straight into him]
- Skipper: Cat... ast... ro... tun... ity!
- Kowalski: [nervously] Ohhh... A catastrotunity. Yes, I've heard that word before. Many... times.
- Private: But, Skipper, the Amarillo Kid didn't do anything wrong this time!
- Skipper: Private, he's your enemy. Now, you don't see me helping Hans. Or Buck Rockgut helping the Red Squirrel.
- [as he is saying this, he puts a fish in the blender]
- Skipper: Or Kowalski helping Doris the dolphin.
- Kowalski: Doris isn't my enemy!
- Skipper: Isn't she, Kowalski? Think about it.
- [He presses the button and blends the fish]
- Kowalski: [bawling] Doris!
- Kowalski: Not to worry, Skipper, he's going to be just fine.
- Skipper: I know, I just feel... bad for the little guy. He's been taking hits for the team left and right.
- [4 flashbacks show Private being bombarded by a bomb, about to be cut by a laser, flung off a treadmill, and getting a papercut]
- Private: [Flashback] Paper cut!
- [a final flashback shows Private getting squashed in the ceiling, the flashbacks end]
- Kowalski: It has been a tough afternoon.
- Skipper: I'd like to reward the boy. But how?
- Kowalski: Well, it should be something special.