Look at Us Now, Mother! (2015) Poster

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7/10
A mother-daughter relationship examined up close
paul-allaer9 February 2016
"Look At Us Now, Mother!" (2015 release; 86 min.) is a documentary by Gayle Kirschenbaum, examining her relationship with her mom. As the movie opens, we are informed that "This is a film about forgiveness" and we soon learn why. We are introduced to the various family members (Gayle, her mom and dad, and her two older brothers), and after a quick look at what mom is doing these days in Boca Raton, we then go back in time to look at the family's origins. To tell you more would spoil your viewing experience, you'll just have to see for yourself how it all plays out.

Couple of comments: this is the latest non-fiction work from writer-director Gayle Kirschenbaum, best known for her acclaimed film "A Dog's Life: A Dogamentary". Here we are invited into Gayle's family, and in particular as to why her mom withholds her love, affection and approval from Gayle from a young age on, and always speaks her mind (mom to Gayle: "your nose is too big"). Or as a friend remarks: "What's on her long is on her tongue". It makes for difficult watching at time, to be honest. I was abhorred at how Gayle was treated. But does this paint the entire picture? That is where the movie gets interesting and revealing. Beware: a majority of the movie is shot on hand-held devices, and at times the shaking of camera is just too much.

I recently saw this at the 2016 Jewish Israeli Film Festival here in Cincinnati, and the packed theater laughed, and cringed, at all the right times. Definitely worth checking out if you are interested in a family's complicated history and behavior.
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8/10
If you are into psychology
SpringBeagle24 January 2019
Then you will enjoy this real portrait of the filmmaker's mother who appears to be a classic narcissist and who has gaslighted her daughter for her entire life and triangulated her family members to make her daughter feel as if she was the "problem." Despite all this, the filmmaker appears to have survived it all, wise, and patient. I get the impression she can see through her mother's tactics. Note to filmmaker: it's not about forgiveness but acceptance. Your mother does love you and she's funny too.
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10/10
Power of Understanding and Forgiveness
kerryakeith10 February 2017
Kirschenbaum's extremely personal look at her rocky relationship with her mother is a necessary exploration through film to forge new methods of understanding those we love the most. Kirschenbaum illuminates the multifaceted dynamics in her relationship with her mother as she turns the camera on herself. This film shows our complexities as humans as we strive to understand our own emotional make-up, and the motives behind the actions of others. Kirschenbaum's movement from hurt to compassion is something we should all aim to emulate in our own lives. This film is at once funny, refreshing, heartfelt, endearing, and honest. I highly recommend this film for everyone, as it leads to deeply contemplating our own relationships with those we love most.
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10/10
Charming, Therapuetic, and Universal
tanner-j-forbes11 February 2020
Beautiful film! I thought the film was beautiful and I especially loved the way the story was structured. It started with such admiration, love, and a great sense of humor. As the film continued, I loved the way we saw more into her mother's past. It made it clear why there was such an empathetic tone to the film. Personally, it reminded me that no matter what happens, and no matter what turns my life takes, it's never too late to heal, learn, and reflect on my journey. The way that it was captured like a home video made it feel very personal, yet relatable and universal at the same time.
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4/10
Meh, more like a home movie Warning: Spoilers
I just finished watching this on Netflix. Although there were moments in this documentary a few mothers and daughters may find touching, overall it's more like a home movie than an interesting exploration in to female relationship dynamics.

I like documentaries. I like personal documentaries. This one felt more like an angst driven crawl through a narcissist's world. Some parts were embarrassing to watch as this grown woman lamented on her painful childhood. Hmmmmm...

The mother was actually far more interesting than the middle aged unmarried daughter who hints her fear of commitment might have to do with her upbringing. Really? Not buying it. Hard to sympathize with a completely self absorbed individual who is emotionally stuck in her own pity party.

Most of the doc focuses on a daughter trying to make sense of a privileged upbringing that was not her Ozzie and Harriet fantasy expectation. So what? Speak to thousands of her generation who often experienced the dark underbelly of these fake suburban lifestyles. The film, Revolutionary Road does a good job of capturing that reality.

No the real gem in this production is the mother. She gets all 4 points of this review. Mommy experiences a much more horrific childhood, which she quickly locked up and stashed far, far away from her memory banks. A childhood that would have broken and tainted many, including her own fragile emotionally stunted daughter.

While Mom is horribly flawed and imperfect; she courageously moves forward in life, building a family, running a business, remaining strong and proud. All the while imposing a "fake it till you make it" ideology on her growing family.

Under the right lens this woman would have been classified as an innovative maverick for the "science of mind" philosophy that floods new ageism today.

In truth Mom sacrificed all of herself for others; which many of her generation were expected to do. She spared her children the truth of her own childhood which was riddled with poverty, parental depression, her father's suicide attempts plus the death of a young sibling.

No wonder she had difficulty relating to her daughter!

Most of us realize as we mature toward adulthood what seems like conflict between mother and daughter is actually a lack of understanding between generational experiences.

Most parents think their children ungrateful and most children think parents out of touch with reality. Yet both time and experience matures us as we realize life is an ebb and flow of awareness, acceptance and forgiveness.

Something this film maker didn't explore deeply enough because she was far too focused on her own wounded child syndrome.
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10/10
Touching... As a strong-willed, middle child, I can totally relate
carter-4276423 January 2019
I have an older sister and younger brother that are both 7+/- years away from me. My mother wasn't critical of my looks like that, but the whole strong willed thing going for me earned me the "Black Sheep" label. I wasn't bad or mischievous, but I was super busy and didn't simply do what I was told until I saw it was fit-a quality I was born with. I couldn't help it. I seriously thought I might be adopted in my teens. It wasn't until my early 20's when she and I became the best of friends. I'm so thankful for that opportunity.

Seriously digressing here, but this documentary hit home fo me personally.

I would recommend this for anyone that was that "Family Freak" that people loved but just couldn't digest.
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