The Rewrite (2014)

Hugh Grant: Keith Michaels

Photos 

Quotes 

• Keith Michaels : Dr. Lerner, you must have an opinion on this?

  Dr. Lerner : Hah! I have a wife and four daughters; I have no opinions.

• Holly Carpenter : Hey! I'm driving you home.

  Keith Michaels : Wow. This is a full service restaurant.

  Holly Carpenter : Well, you had two glasses and you had two at the bar. And if you die I don't get to take your course and it's gonna screw up my whole schedule.

  Keith Michaels : What about my car?

  Holly Carpenter : It's a Hyundai. It'll be there in the morning.

• Jim : When I was younger, I thought having the perfect Shakespeare quote for every situation would make me beloved.

  Keith Michaels : It's surprisingly unhelpful.

  Jim : Yeah, it seems to really annoy people.

• Andrea Stein-Rosen : I don't think I go that deep. That's what everybody keeps telling me, anyways

  Keith Michaels : Well, let's prove everybody wrong.

• Keith Michaels : Everyone loves Betty White.

• Clara Foss : Clara Foss, fellow writer, resident poet. Welcome aboard.

  Keith Michaels : Well, that didn't rhyme at all. I doubt your credentials.

• Keith Michaels : The problem is with the daughter; she's sort of a paper-thin, you know? She's a good daughter, she's a good student, there's no flaws, nothing needs to be fixed.

  Karen Gabney : So? The father needs to be fixed.

  Keith Michaels : Which is what makes him an interesting character. And in reaction to that I think that maybe the daughter should be, uh...

  [stammers] 

  Keith Michaels : libidinous, spoiled, sexually manipulative, you know, more like...

  [stammers] 

  Keith Michaels : so many interesting characters.

  Karen Gabney : Like me? You were going to say me.

  Keith Michaels : Not at all.

  Karen Gabney : You were looking right at me.

• Keith Michaels : Thanks for being so understanding tonight about Karen. It's not what it seems.

  Holly Carpenter : Seems... like you're sleeping with her.

  Keith Michaels : Then it is what it seems.

• Keith Michaels : Nice bag.

  Professor Weldon : Please leave.

• Keith Michaels : [on phone]  I'm in Binghamton. What trouble could I get into?

  [sees Karen approaching] 

  Keith Michaels : Oh, hang on! I think I just discovered how the rhetorical question was invented.

• Keith Michaels : Character is everything. Fortunately, not in life, but in storytelling.

• Professor Weldon : Perhaps you'd like to kick mine.

  Keith Michaels : No, don't be silly. I didn't mean literally. Besides, not much of a target there,

  [laughs] 

  Keith Michaels : which I mean in a very nice way

  [reaches out and touches Weldon's right butt-cheek] 

  Keith Michaels : .