The Boss (2016)
Kristen Bell: Claire
Photos
Quotes
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Claire : Michelle, if you can't give me a raise, I can't continue to work here.
Michelle Darnell : Well, look who finally showed up to my seminar. About time, Claire, I love it. I didn't know you were listening all these years. What am I always saying?
Tito : Don't go in that room!
Michelle Darnell : True. I do say that, but I also say, you want something, you gotta take it. Claire, you just took it and you grew a pair in the process.
Claire : I'm holding your earrings?
Michelle Darnell : You're holding a pair of earrings, as in 2001 I paid $ 62,000 for it, and that's your raise now, it's a good raise and you earned it.
Claire : Thank you.
Tito : Congratulations on your balls, Claire!
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Michelle Darnell : It's hilarious. It's like that classic comedy gag, 'Who's on my baseball?'.
Tito : Who's on my baseball?
Michelle Darnell : Who's on my baseball?
Tito : Uh, who's on my baseball?
Michelle Darnell : Who's on my baseball?
Claire : I think it's uh, 'Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third'. Right?
Michelle Darnell : I don't think that's...
Tito : Uh... no?
Michelle Darnell : Uh, I think you're on my baseball.
Tito : Who's on my baseball!
Michelle Darnell : First base!
Tito : [singing] What's on my baseball!
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Claire : [Knocking on the bathroom door, while Michelle is in the bathroom] Michelle, you gotta get out of the bathroom. I'm already late for work and Rachel's gonna be late for school.
Michelle Darnell : [From inside the bathroom] Well, I'm going as fast as I can. You're welcome to come in.
Claire : [Opening the door to find Michelle applying self-tanning spray] Fine, but we gotta get on the schedule if you're gonna be here. Oh, my God! Close your robe!
Michelle Darnell : No, absolutely not! I'm self-tanning and my legs are still wet.
Claire : I can see your vagina.
Michelle Darnell : Well, congratulations and you're welcome. You know, I had it rejuvenated in 2010. They called it a vaguvenation. You know, it's like a soft silk coin purse.
[Whispered]
Michelle Darnell : I can barely urinate.
Claire : [Still in shock] Oh, my God.
Michelle Darnell : Now, do me a favor and tell me if I have any streaks on my hamstrings.
[Turns around, bends over and lifts up her robe as Rachel comes into the bathroom]
Claire : Oh, my God! Put it away!
Michelle Darnell : Huh!
Claire : Put it away!
Rachel : Whoa!
Michelle Darnell : [Turns around] Hi, Racquel.
Rachel : It's Rachel!
Claire : Go grab your backpack, honey. We don't need to brush our teeth today. Our teeth are fine.
[Rachel leaves the room, as Michelle goes back to spraying her leg with self-tanning spray]
Claire : . You need to wipe some of that off your face. You know, it dries darker.
Michelle Darnell : No. Does it?
[Grabs the bottle]
Claire : Yes.
Michelle Darnell : That's not what the bottle says.
[She wipes her face with a bath towel]
Michelle Darnell : Oh. Oh, it's okay. It's coming off like a dream on your towel.
Claire : You need to clean up the bathroom and... consider staying away from self-tanner altogether. Your... pelvic region is the color of curry.
Michelle Darnell : Namaste, Claire. Thank you.
Claire : That's not a compliment.
