- Dante: Why do I listen to you?
- Riley: Because, my friend, when we're charged with saving the world from the forces of evil, you, you are going to be my sidekick, big guy!
- Dante: [Scoffs] You couldn't save a kitten from a tree! Plus, superheroes need money, too.
- Riley: [to Melissa, off screen] He's got a point.
- Dante: Can you imagine Batman pulling that grappling shit with an overdraft?
- Kyle: This whole thing tonight feels a little weird, y'know? I was trying to tell Kelly earlier about it, but, y'know, she was in her own little world.
- Dante: [to Riley] What's he yammering about?
- Kyle: [to Dante] You did see the news earlier, right?
- Riley: [to Kyle] Dude...
- Kyle: What? I know!
- Dante: What? I don't watch the news.
- Riley: Alex Sykes. The, uh, Easter Bunny guy.
- Dante: Aw, bullshit. That never happened.
- Riley: No, it happened. It was on a night... Just like tonight.
- Dante: Put a sock in it.
- Kyle: You do know what he did, don't you?
- Riley: Yeah, yeah, he escaped this morning. He's like a Houdini of serial killers.
- Dante: Now he's watching and waiting, yeah, yeah. What are the odds he'll show up here, anyway?
- Kyle: Dude, it was all over the news!
- Dante: If you two are afraid that some sad sack in a bunny costume is gonna come here and kill us all, why'd you even come?
- Riley: Free drinks?