Jackson Nicoll: Billy
Photos
Quotes
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Billy : [to moving truck crew after they helped load his grandmother's corpse into his grandpa's trunk] Thanks for the crime!
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Billy : [to the grocery store employee] Sometimes he shits himself.
Irving Zisman : [turns to Billy] I don't shit myself, you little prick!
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Billy : [after Irving defecates on the restaurant wall] EW, GRANDPA, YOU *SHARTED*!
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[first lines]
Billy : [at the law office] You know what I wanna be when I grow up?
Lady : What?
Billy : A fisherman. I want to go fishing everyday 'till I'm rich so I can move right next to the jailhouse so I can be close to my mommy. She got arrested for drugs again, so she has to go back.
Lady : I'm sorry to hear that.
[gives Billy an awkward look]
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Billy : [while pushing his drunken grandpa in a shopping cart down the street] You shouldn't drink so much.
Irving Zisman : Pipe down!
[moans]
Irving Zisman : Oh, God...
Billy : [keeps pushing the cart] Do you have any idea how heavy you are?
Irving Zisman : [mumbling] Do you have any idea how I don't give a shit?
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Irving Zisman : [about a girl Billy knew] Was she your girlfriend?
Billy : Yeah...
Irving Zisman : How long did you go out with her?
Billy : A day.
Irving Zisman : [bursts out laughing] A day? Reminds me of most of my relationships!
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Billy : [about his grandma] She passed away.
Woman : [gently] Oh dear, that's very sad.
Irving Zisman : Well, it's not so sad. She was kind of a bitch, but yeah.
Woman : [gasps] Jeez. My goodness!
Irving Zisman : Well, gotta call a spade a spade.
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Billy : Did you just toot, grandpa?
Irving Zisman : That was a church house creeper.
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Billy : Wanna see how red I can get my face?
Irving Zisman : [laughs] Yeah. Stop stop stop. Oh my god, that was redder than a ape's ass.
Billy : Watch your mouth.
Irving Zisman : Oh sorry. That was redder than a ape's tuchus.
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Billy : Grandpa, I'm fuckin' wasted.
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Billy : [to a random man on the street] You're my dad. High five, Dad!
