- JonTron: This fucking humming! That's like the joke voice people do when they're trying to pretend to act natural.
- Police Officer: [knocking on door] NYPD! Open up!
- [cut to Jon in the bathroom with a giant knife]
- JonTron: Can't a guy get some privacy?
- [begins to stab away, humming in a demonic voice]
- Mrs. Boyd: How about some roast beef?
- Larry Boyd: I don't want food, I want answers!
- JonTron: Goddamn it, Larry. You're hard to love, but you're harder to hate.
- Harrison Sadler: I told you; I study ghosts. I'm not a ghost.
- JonTron: Like me, specifically, I am not a ghost, but I've taken many courses in ghosts and I'm decently interested in ghosts, but I'm definitely not a ghost, and any information you find that may lead you to believe that I am a ghost, that is wrong. Trust me.
- Jerry: Oh man, you and your dumb hobbies!
- JonTron: Yeah, fuck you for being interested in things, you stupid bitch!
- Jerry: Who makes wax rubbings?
- Terri: I do! Because I'm interested in things.
- JonTron: Okay, at first I was kinda advocating for you because he was being a dick for no reason, thought you were the victim, but now I can basically say that you're both pretentious fucks.