- Barney Stinson: A few final thoughts, don't get married until you're thirty. Play laser tag once a week. Give at least as many high fives as you get. Teacup pigs are lady magnets, but are very hard to care for... Not worth the effort. The same goes for dogs and babies. And most importantly, whatever you do in this life... it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it. Good luck boys. Take care of the game for me.
- Ted: When you love someone you just, you... you don't stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just- you don't give up because if I could give up... If I could just, you know, take the whole world's advice and- and move on and find someone else, that wouldn't be love. That would be... That would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for. But that is not what this is.
- Barney Stinson: Haaave you met Justin?
- Julie: Uhh, no. Hi, I'm Julie.
- Justin: So simple... So elegant.
- Kyle: That's it? You just walk up to someone you don't know and introduce them to your buddy? I don't know that sounds kinda-!
- Justin: [to a passing girl] Haaave you met Kyle?
- Shelly: Hi Kyle.
- Kyle: [to Barney] Are you Jesus?
- Marshall Eriksen: Okay, yes, seven-years-ago Lily, maybe I am wrong for still being mad at you about San Francisco and our breakup. But the truth is, when you left me, that was the saddest I've ever been in my life.
- Lily Aldrin: [Imaginary] Really? The saddest you've ever been in your life?
- Marshall Eriksen: Saddest I've ever been in my life.
- Marvin Eriksen Sr.: [Also imaginary] I mean, I am sitting right here.
- Marshall Eriksen: Look, Dad, yes, obviously, losing you was way worse, but I'm trying to make a bigger point here.
- Marvin Eriksen Sr.: And what point is that? Because she hurt you once, you now get to hurt her? It's not how it works in a marriage.
- Victoria: Unbelievable. And I assume this is all in the hopes that Robin'll ditch her own wedding and run off with you?
- Ted Mosby: What? No. I would never...
- Victoria: You would never run off with a girl on the day of her wedding? Riiiiiii...
- Ted Mosby: Okay, that's a fair point.
- Victoria: I'm not done. -iiiiiight.
- Lily Aldrin: [in imaginary 2006 form] Barney's wedding? Oh, God. What desperate ho-bag is handcuffing herself to that time bomb?
- Robin Scherbatsky: My dad did a real number on me.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [about Barney] Well, he's terrified of commitment - although, ironically, loves being tied down...
- Barney Stinson: Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.