What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Jemaine Clement: Vladislav

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Deacon : I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.

  Vladislav : I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

• Vladislav : Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!

  Viago : What are you bidding on?

  Vladislav : I am bidding on a table.

• Vladislav : What are you doing tonight? Are you going to kill some perverts?

  Child Vampire : Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile.

  Vladislav : Cool.

• Vladislav : You will not eat Stu and you will not eat the camera guy... Maybe one camera guy.

• Vladislav : We should get some slaves!

• Viago : I went in the lounge the other day and there was blood all over my nice antique couch.

  Vladislav : Which one? The red one?

  Viago : Well it's red now, yeah.

• Stu : [browsing the Internet]  If we push "images" then we can see pictures of virgins.

  Vladislav , Viago , Deacon : Oh yes.

  Vladislav : I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that.

• Vladislav : He was an 18th century dandy, so he can be very fussy.

• Vladislav : We're vampires, we don't put down towels.

• Vladislav : I go for a look which I call dead but delicious.

• Deacon : [as the cops leave the basement]  Wait, let's kill them.

  Viago : No!

  Vladislav : Well let's just see what other safety points they have... and then maybe we'll kill them.

• Viago : Petyr, get away from the sunlight!

  Deacon : Get in the shadows, Petyr!

  Viago : Get out of the sunlight!

  Vladislav : [Returning with water]  Get out of my way!

  [Attempts to douse Petyr] 

  Deacon : I'm going in! I'm coming, Petyr!

  Viago : Deacon, no, it's sunlight!

  Deacon : I'm coming for you!

  Viago : It's sunlight out there! It's sunlight! It's sunlight!