- Bob Belcher: When everyone in the bi-county area sees our commercial, they'll come to our restaurant.
- Tina Belcher: I didn't know our county was bi. Good for us.
- Gene Belcher: I'm having my own Super Bowl blowout this year. I'm holding all of my BMs until halftime when I will make a Super Bowel!
- Linda Belcher: Gene, you can't hold your poops in, all right? You got to set 'em free where they can go down the sewer and they find their families and they're happy.
- Gene Belcher: I'm their family! I raised them!
- Bob Belcher: [after Bob sees the commercial for the restaurant] Oh, my God.
- Tina Belcher: Oh, my God, you love it?
- Bob Belcher: Oh, my God, we're screwed.
- Tina Belcher: Oh, my God, we're screwed, you love it?
- Bob Belcher: No. Oh, my God, we're screwed, we're screwed.
- Tina Belcher: Oh, my God, we're screwed, we're screwed, you love it?
- Bob Belcher: No. Oh, my God, we're screwed, we're screwed, we're really, really, really screwed.
- Louise Belcher: I want my name off this project and my last name off my name! Now it's just Louise Louise!
- Linda Belcher: $3,000 is a lot of money, Bobby.
- Bob Belcher: But a Super Bowl commercial is a game-changer, Lin and it'll be fun.
- Linda Belcher: No.
- Bob Belcher: We'll put the whole family in it.
- Linda Belcher: No, I don't think...
- Bob Belcher: You could sing a song.
- Linda Belcher: [sings] Let's do it!
- Bob Belcher: Why did I think this was a good idea? Why did I throw all our money away on this?
- Randy: Despite the brilliant camera work, I think the problem is the script written by a nine-year-old.
- Louise Belcher: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Learn to direct, you hack.
- Randy: I am learning.
- Randy: I also brought in some props to make the new final shot look more footbally. Some pom-poms for Linda.
- Linda Belcher: Rah-rah! Pom-poms for the mom-moms!
- Randy: For Gene, I brought this mouth guard which I need back by tonight. I grind my teeth. And a referee shirt for Louise.
- Louise Belcher: No way. I'm not being the referee.
- Randy: I took the shirt off my teddy bear and you're the only one who it'll fit.
- Louise Belcher: Tough break, Randy. Sorry about your naked bear.
- Randy: Louise, a word, please? Listen to me! I know we've had our differences, but I need this!
- Louise Belcher: Admit you're a hack and I'll do it.
- Randy: I am not a hack!
- Louise Belcher: Then I'm not a ref.
- Randy: Fine, I'm a hack, but I'm learning and soon I won't be a hack, but you... you'll always be a little girl.
- Louise Belcher: He said he's a hack! Just so you know!
- Bob Belcher: [after seeing Sandy Frye in Jimmy Pesto's Super Bowl commercial] What the hell? That doesn't even make sense! Pizza doesn't go well with Frye!
- Sandy: Hey, all this acting makes me hungry. Let's celebrate with some sesame cheddar blasts.
- Bob Belcher: Uh, we don't have that.
- Sandy: And maybe some toasted jalapeno points.
- Bob Belcher: Is that a thing?