The Lobster (2015)
Colin Farrell: David
Photos
Quotes
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Hotel Manager : Now have you thought of what animal you'd like to be if you end up alone?
David : Yes. A lobster.
Hotel Manager : Why a lobster?
David : Because lobsters live for over one hundred years, are blue-blooded like aristocrats, and stay fertile all their lives. I also like the sea very much.
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Loner Leader : Can you imagine why I brought you to this quiet place today?
David : No.
Loner Leader : Because I think it's the perfect spot for your grave.
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David : [as the Biscuit Woman screams in pain in the distance] What happened?
Heartless Woman : She jumped from the window from 180. There is blood and biscuits everywhere.
David : I hope she dies right away.
David : [he pauses] On second thought, I hope she suffers quite a bit before she dies. I just hope her pathetic screams can't be heard from my room, because I was thinking about having a lie down, and I need peace and quiet. I was playing golf, and I'm quite tired, and the last thing I need is some woman dying slowly and loudly.
Heartless Woman : I can't hear you with all the screaming. We'll talk some other time when it's quieter.
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David : The last thing I want right now is a kiss from a silly little girl.
[He kicks Elizabeth's left shin]
Nosebleed Woman : Come on, move away.
David : Don't cry Elizabeth, you should thank me. Now you'll have a limp and be more like your father.
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Loner Leader : Where were you? I was looking for you.
David : I was masturbating behind those trees over there.
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Short Sighted Woman : Kiwi.
David : That's right, ten out of ten again. Can I give you a kiss?
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[Heartless woman fakes to choke on an olive, but David doesn't help]
Heartless Woman : I think we are a match.
David : Yes, I think so too.
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David : Are you short sighted?
Loner Swimmer : No.
David : You're lying.
Loner Swimmer : It's the truth.
David : [shows him the chain of his sidebag] What does it say here?
Loner Swimmer : YKK.
David : You knew that already. All zips say the same thing.
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David : I'm going to do it with a knife.
Short Sighted Woman : Do you want me to come with you?
David : I'd rather you didn't.
Short Sighted Woman : Don't worry. It's strange at first but then you'll get used to it. The other senses are heightened, touch for example, and hearing.
David : I know... I won't be long.
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David : What blood type are you?
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David : That makes total sense.
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David : That's awful. Just awful.