Mike Jeavons: Mike J.

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Mike J. : Hello, I'm a British person, and do you know what's worse than a bad American Pie spin-off? A bad American Pie rip-off. Don't get me wrong, I love watching the trials and tribulations of teenage boys as they try to cop off with girls; but at least do that while attempting to be funny. And by that, I don't mean have a monkey ejaculate in a disabled boy's face! Seriously, why? Apparently, National Lampoon's Barely Legal - or After School Special, as it's also known - needed to exist. There was somebody out there who thought that this was a thing that needed to happen. So, let's get on with it.

  [sighs] 

• [last lines] 

  Mike J. : I hate this movie. It appeared at the time teen sex comedies were at their peak, yet fails in every way to emulate what was popular about them; the good ones at least. You can't show a few tits, have a douchebag character, and throw monkey jizz in a disabled kid's face and expect it to pay off, especially if you have a half-hearted Tom Arnold performance in there as well. There have only been three - maybe four - really good teen sex comedies, so come on, it's time to stop! On the other hand, boobies.