Deathgasm (2015)

Milo Cawthorne: Brodie

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Quotes 

• Abigail : The possessed bodies, they kill all in their path in preparation for Aeloth's ascension on the next blood moon. On the Devil's hour.

  Brodie : Oh shit, the moon is red tonight. When is the Devil's hour?

  Abigail : Three AM.

  Zakk : Three AM Pacific or Eastern time? Do demons recognize daylight savings?

• Brodie : Do you - do you like metal?

  Medina : Um, isn't it just a bunch of guys screaming?

  Brodie : No way! Well... apart from grindcore. And death metal is kind of like that. And deathcore, screamo, pornogrind, black metal, metalcore, thrash, and mordorcore. But apart from those...

  Medina : It's just not my thing. I don't really get it.

  Brodie : It's like, when life sucks, and you feel alone and empty. You stick on some metal and life is better, because... because somebody else knows the pain and the rage that you're going through, y'know?

• Brodie : Does anybody want anything from the shop?

  Zakk : Condoms, Vaseline, jumper cables, and ammonium nitrate.

  Brodie : I don't think they sell that combination of things.

• Terry : The Blind One is coming. He's going to suck out your intestines for a thousand years and use your ribs as toothpicks.

  Brodie : Um... okay.

  Terry : Did I mention he's going to roast your nuts over an open fire? While they are still attached, of course.

  Brodie : No, Terry. You didn't mention that.

  Terry : Well, he is.

• Zakk : [after they kill Brodie's possessed aunt and uncle with their box of dildoes, and Brodie kills his not possessed asshole cousin with a chainsaw for good measure]  Pretty sure he wasn't possessed.

  Brodie : [Smiling]  What? Oh no. Of course he was. Because when he came in he said something about... Satan. Yeah. You didn't hear him say that?

• Brodie : I thought you were off to the lookout to watch the town burn.

  Zakk : Realized I couldn't leave my mate in the shit. Not with all these demons to mega-kill. Metalheads stick together, right?

  Medina : Whoa, wait. You decided that you wanted to help us, and then you went and applied makeup? Well, how long did that take? What ten - fifteen minutes?

  Zakk : It's not makeup. It's fucking corpse paint. For going into battle.

  Medina : Okay. Well, you look adorable. It really brings out your eyes.

• Brodie : Jesus. Who's that?

  Dion : Medina Darcy... Uhh, no dude...

  Brodie : What do you mean, "no"?

  Dion : No way are you tapping that. Chicks like that don't go out with metalheads. They bang apes like your cousin.

• Mr. Capenhurst : Good work Brodie. Nice technique. Great shading on the demon penises. Is that me having hot pokers stuffed up m rectum by skeletons?

  Brodie : Yes, sir.

  Mr. Capenhurst : Nice likeness .Very detailed. Two weeks detention.

• Zakk : Hey man, you wanna do something crazy?

  Brodie : It's not role-playing, is it?

  Zakk : What the fuck is role-playing?

• Brodie : It's music.

  Zakk : Can you read it?

  Brodie : Yeah, I think so. It's pretty universal. It's really old. Holy fuck. Look at the title.

  Zakk : What the fuck does it say?

  Brodie : Don't know. I think it's Latin.

  Zakk : What, like Dora the fuckin' Explorer?

  Brodie : No. Like, like, Romans and shit.

• Brodie : My uncle Albert was balls-deep into Jesus. He thought Ricky Martin was heavy. He heard me cranking some Disemboweled Corpse and he hasn't slept for days.

• Brodie : My friends are losers, my uncle keeps trying to christen me in my sleep, and I'm drenched in my cousin's bodily fluids.

• Zakk : Got it! "DEATHGASM" All spelt in capitals. Lower case is for pussies.

  Brodie : Cool. What about...

  Brodie : I said it's fucking "DEATHGASM"!

• Zakk : Medina is never gonna put out for you, man. You're never gonna get to second base with that girl.

  Brodie : What?

  Zakk : You know - anal.

  Brodie : Okay, I don't want to know what you think fourth base is.

• Brodie : Okay, so all the shit is in my room, all right? But watch out for my aunt and uncle because they hate you. And, also, they might be demons.

• Brodie : You don't know what you're doing. The whole town is overrun with fucking demons.

  Shanna : We know exactly what we are doing. Give me the "vogue catty quaff wrecks demony".

  Dion : It's actually pronounced vocavitque rex daemonia.

• Medina : I can't stand mic cupping.

  Brodie : Cannibal Corpse do it.

  Medina : No. Barnes used to do it. Fisher... it's straight from the guts.

  Brodie : Shit. Did I just get schooled?

  Medina : I'm a very fast learner.

• Brodie : Hey David - I saw Uncle Albert washing your sheets this morning. You shit the bed or something?

  David : Fuckin' devil-worshiper. I can't wait until my dad kicks you out on the streets and you've got to blow truck drivers for food like your psycho mum.

• Zakk : I bags that record.

  Brodie : Dude, that's low.

  Zakk : I can go much lower.

• Byron : Welcome to Alien Records. How are things, kid?

  Brodie : Things are shitty.

• Brodie : When is the devil's hour?

  Abigail : 3 a.m.

  Zakk : Wait. 3 a.m. Pacific or Eastern Time? Do demons recognize daylight savings?

• Brodie : Sick, man!

  Zakk : What? They were like that when I found them.

• Rikki Daggers : Aeon sent you, didn't he? When are you occultist cunts ever gonna fuckin' learn?

  Brodie : No, we're just... we're just metalheads. We're fans.

• Brodie : Y'know, I'm not even sure I'm in the right tuning.

• Brodie : Motherfucker!

  Medina : Brodie, just leave it.

  Brodie : Fucking wanker! You knew I liked her.

  Zakk : Calm the fuck down, all right? I'm not even into her. I was just bored.

  Brodie : Oh well, that's supposed to make it fucking better? What happened to Brotherhood of Steel?

• Zakk : Brutal.

  Brodie : Should we check his pulse?

  Zakk : He has a fucking engine for a head. I don't think he's gonna be walking this one off, man.

  Brodie : Shit.

  Zakk : Y'know - it's weird, but I think he would have wanted to go out like this.

  Brodie : His eyes ripped out, face grinded off and then head mounted under a car engine?

  Zakk : Totally. For whom the bell tolls, old man.

• Zakk : Whoa. Is that Satan?

  Abigail : That is Aeloth. King of the Demons.

  Zakk : Aeloth? Sounds like a badass.

  Brodie : These words were in music pages.

  Abigail : The Black Hymn. You have it.

  Zakk : Have it? We fuckin' played it.

  Abigail : Well, then, you have fucked us all.

• Brodie : Okay, I don't want to know what you think fourth base is.

  Zakk : No, I don't.

• Zakk : Brood?

  Brodie : Brood as fuck!

• Brodie : Should we check his pulse?

  Zakk : He has a fucking engine for a head. I don't think he's gonna be walking this one off, man.