- Colin Mochrie: [in "Weird Newscasters"] Welcome to the six o'clock news. I'm your anchor, Frank Opinion. Our top story: Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today that he will be starring in a new movie about a 17th century composer. Said Schwarzenegger: "I'll be Bach."
- Aisha Tyler: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "If famous TV shows had been performed in the nude."
- Ryan Stiles: [mimes using his penis as the minute hand on a clock] I'm Dan Rather... I'm Morley Safer.
- Brad Sherwood: [mimes spinning "Wheel of Fortune" wheel with his penis] I'd like to buy a vowel.
- Colin Mochrie: [thrusting hips] Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
- [Aisha laughs]
- Wayne Brady: And now, I'll show you what's behind door number one.
- [mimes pulling apart his pants]
- Wayne Brady: Aw, you got zonked.
- Brad Sherwood: [to Colin] You're standing on my boob, Golden Girl.
- Ryan Stiles: Hey, Tim, you're gonna have to fix that knot in your fence.
- Brad Sherwood: [to Colin] To the Bat Pole.
- [mimes holding something]
- Colin Mochrie: THERE'S the Bat Pole.
- [pointing]
- Ryan Stiles: "Sesame Street" is brought to you by the letter "E".