Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, Dr. Linksano

Quotes 

• [opening lines] 

  Linkara : We continue our look at the journey of a small creature in its efforts to smoke weed and steal money from squatters. Last time on "The Hobbit", Bilbo Baggins, hobbit and resident of the Shire, is bullied into accompanying a party of twelve dwarves, only one of whom is important. Despite numerous brushes with death in regards to creatures much larger than him, who are all obsessed with eating him, Bilbo has survived and fallen down a hole, separated from his companions. After finding a ring randomly in a cave that probably isn't important at all, Bilbo encountered this walking and talking advertisement for skin lotion named Gollum. The two are to play a game with riddles. If Bilbo wins, Gollum will show him the way out. If Gollum wins, he gets to eat Bilbo. Damn it, if only Bilbo had some Hostess Fruit Pies to offer instead! Let's dig into "The Hobbit #2" and see just how Bilbo gets himself out of this situation.

  [beat] 

  Linkara : Unless you're already familiar with the story and thus know the answer to that and don't really care.

• Linkara : Novels, comics, movies, TV shows; it doesn't matter, retcons are a proud tradition of our media!

• Linkara : You know, why did Gollum develop the speech impediment? Was that actually Sauran's thing and it just got carried over onto the ring? Hmm, there's an idea, if he actually created the Ring of Power just to fix the way he talked and things got a little out of hand.

• Linkara : [about Bilbo]  Gandalf seems a little suspicious on how he was able to sneak past the goblins, but they otherwise realize they have to get a move-on, since the goblins will probably be after them come nightfall. I wouldn't worry too much about that. The goblins have to work overtime to turn this entire place into the town of Nilbog.