Scream Queens (TV Series)

Thanksgiving (2015)

Glen Powell: Chad Radwell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chad Radwell : Are you saying you killed Hester?

  Chanel Oberlin : Gravity killed Hester. I just gave her a little push.

• Chad Radwell : Okay Chanel, listen, I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I don't think I can bone you right now. My wanger is way stressed out! I got a kid on the way with a crazy neckbrace baby-mama who I now gotta marry and be miserable for the rest of my life.

• Bunny Radwell : [Hester has unexpectedly shown up at the Radwells']  I beg your pardon, but who are you?

  Chad Radwell : Uh, she is my... sober coach.

  Chanel Oberlin : What?

  Tad Radwell : Chad, I didn't know you had a drinking problem.

  Chad Radwell : Neither did I. That is how insidious alcoholism is, dad.

• [Chanel tells Chad that she killed Hester] 

  Chad Radwell : What did you do with body?

  Chanel Oberlin : Duh! I put it in the meat locker. That's where we've been putting all the dead bodies.

  Chad Radwell : Oh my God. Chanel, that is so hot! I wanna see it! I need to see the body! We can have a three-way with the body!

  Chanel Oberlin : What? No!

  Chad Radwell : Oh come on, I need this! If you expect me to take our relationship to the next level by taking you home to the Hamptons for Thanksgiving, you're gonna have to prove to me you can meet my needs.

  Chanel Oberlin : Fine, I'll show you the body - but not so you can have sex with it!

• Chad Radwell : Listen, I'm not a detective or anything, but what if Hester was never dead and she just managed to escape?

  Chanel Oberlin : That's not possible! I watched her fall down the stairs!

  Chad Radwell : After she fell down the stairs did you check her pulse?

  Chanel Oberlin : No, Chad, because I'm not like a registered nurse!

  Chad Radwell : Well Chanel, it seems to me like you tried to kill Hester and totally failed, so you should probably bring a security detail with you to The Hamptons because, I mean, the girl's insane and she'll probably stop at nothing to get her revenge by murdering you.

• Chad Radwell : Chanel, I'm über-confused. Hester here, who's super weird and an obvious psychopath, she says she's pregnant. You say she's not pregnant. You said she was dead. She says she's not dead. I'm kind of inclined to believe her.

• Chad Radwell : Hello, I'm Chad Radwell. This year, I'm thankful for someone who's very special to me. Without this person, I wouldn't be the man I am right now. In fact, I wouldn't be here at all.

  [Chanel assumes he's talking about her] 

  Chad Radwell : I am, of course, referring to the serial killer who is stalking the campus of Wallace University. I am so thankful that he, for whatever reason, has not murdered me yet. I am so, so grateful.

  Bunny Radwell : I'm also thankful to that serial killer for not killing you, Chad. And that you will have a long, long, long life. You have such a vast future ahead of you.

  [intentionally goading Chanel] 

  Bunny Radwell : You'll meet so many new and different women! So many wonderful women to go out with, and break up with, and move on from!

  Chanel Oberlin : Well, you should be thankful that this table is too long for me to reach across and strangle you, bitch!

• Chad Radwell : Once you've had savory, leftover aspic à la Radwell, you will never want pumpkin pie again. Tastes like Henry VIII just barfed in my mouth.

• Chad Radwell : Are you gonna make a habit of just, like, pushing people down the stairs? Cuz I think we can agree. Not the most adult form of conflict resolution, Chanel.