- Farooq Ashkani: The only phrase you know in Urdu is, "No, shit, you goat-raping pig-devil"?
- Sterling Archer: What? I thought it meant, "I'm sorry". Huh. Probably why that night in a Karachi whorehouse suddenly went from pretty bad to much worse.
- [at poker night]
- Cyril Figgis: Jeezy petes, an inside straight? Damn it!
- [everyone groans and complains as Ray rakes in his chips]
- Ray Gillette: Got three on the hip, I need four for the weekend! I'm goin' to Hotlanta!
- Cheryl Tunt: Have fun, I hope you get hate-crimed.
- Cyril Figgis: Hey, whoa!
- Doctor Krieger: Goddamn, woman.
- Ray Gillette: Seriously.
- Pam Poovey: I'll hate-crime your ass right here!
- Ray Gillette: You know what?
- Cyril Figgis: Guys! Come on! Can't we have one poker night without a hate crime?
- Cheryl Tunt: Okay, A, the thing last month wasn't a hate crime...
- [cutaway to the previous game with Cheryl on top of the poker table, screaming and sticking a gun in Pam's mouth, while everyone watches in horror]
- Cheryl Tunt: Because I will straight-flush your brains out the back of your SKULL!
- [cut to present]
- Cheryl Tunt: ... it was just a regular crime.
- Ray Gillette: And obviously now I put my gun in the timelock safe until the game's over.
- Cyril Figgis: And so basically, the only thing keeping you from murdering each other is a lack of access to firearms.
- Pam Poovey: Works for Canada.
- Cheryl Tunt: Nothing works for Canada.