- Homer Simpson: [Imagining Patty and Selma as fat] He, he! You're fat!
- Patty Bouvier: You're even fatter.
- Homer Simpson: Damn straight! No one outfats me!
- Marge Simpson: I hate it when you and Selma fight.
- Homer Simpson: Me too. I also hate it when you agree.
- Bart Simpson: Hey, Lis. You think I can use denture adhesive to climb the walls?
- [Tries it, and falls on his head]
- Lisa Simpson: No. Next time wait for my answer.
- Homer Simpson: Cut it out you two. Your grandma's medicine cabinet is not a toy chest. Ooh, Vicodin.
- Abraham Simpson: Nothing can top an old man's romantic gesture.
- Charles Montgomery Burns: [Arrives inside a gift box hauled by Smithers] Except a rich man flaunting his wealth.
- Abraham Simpson: Oh, the one thing I can't compete against: competition.