Mom (TV Series)

Dirty Money and a Woman Named Mike (2015)

Jaime Pressly: Jill Kendall

Quotes 

• Bonnie : Let me get this straight. You got released from prison three years early, you've been out for two days, you already have a great job and you're living rent free in a mansion with a tennis court?

  Jill Kendall : Two, one grass, one clay.

  Regina : And get this... Jill's letting me drive her old Range Rover.

  Jill Kendall : It's a 2013, the GPS is all messed up.

  Bonnie : [the women look at each other, cut to all of them in Regina's church clapping and singing]  When can I start asking for stuff?

• Regina : I was so lonely, I thought I might as well start drinking again. Now for those of you who haven't been to prison, if you want to get loaded you have two options: toilet wine, a lovely concoction of moldy bread, rotten fruit, and ketchup.

  Marjorie : [to Christy, Bonnie and Jill]  The ketchup makes it a rosé.

  Regina : Or, heroin, smuggled in by some boyfriend's poop chute. Either way, you have to *really* want it, and I did. But before I took it, I did something I haven't done since I was a little girl. I got on my knees and asked God for help. Wasn't really expecting to get an answer right away, in fact, wasn't expecting anything to happen. Then BAM! That whole cell was full with the Holy light of God!

  Jill Kendall : [whispering]  What do you think happened then?

  Regina : I was saved.

  Jill Kendall : [loudly]  Oh!

  Regina : What did I need with booze and drugs when I had the Holy spirit of God filling me?

  Jill Kendall : [jumps up]  TESTIFY!