- Murray Goldberg: I get what's going on. You played me.
- Adam Goldberg: What?
- Murray Goldberg: You used my love of sports and our awkwardness of our relationship to get what you wanted.
- Adam Goldberg: I am insulted by these accusations!
- Dave Kim: You literally used those exact words just a few minutes ago.
- Adam Goldberg: Shut up, Dave Kim!
- Dave Kim: [to Murray] My name's Dave Kim, by the way.
- Adam Goldberg: This is my life-long dream.
- Murray Goldberg: I thought your life-long dream was to be cast as an Ewok.
- Adam Goldberg: I'm too big now!
- Dave Kim: [Referring to using real swords rather than wrapping paper tubes to recreate a sword fight in "The Princess Bride"] Maybe your mother can buy them for us.
- Adam Goldberg: [Sarcastically] Oh, that's a *great* idea! Let's just go ask my *safety-obsessed* mother if she'll buy us real swords to play with!
- Adam Goldberg: [Murray's playing Andre the Giant's part in Adam's version of The Princess Bride] Okay, Dad, try to look enormous!
- Barry Goldberg: Coach is our coach. When he feels feelings, he makes us run laps until we feel them too.