The Death of Stalin (2017)

Simon Russell Beale: Lavrenti Beria

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vasily Stalin : I want to make a speech at my father's funeral

  Lavrenti Beria : Comrade Malenkov, your view?

  Georgy Malenkov : Well, I think, um... it can be... no problem.

  Nikita Khrushchev : Technically yes, but practically...

  Lavrenti Beria : There are programmatic complications...

  Georgy Malenkov : I think I misspoke when I said "No problem." What I meant was, "No, problem."

  [Everyone in the room looks confused] 

  Georgy Malenkov : Ignore me.

• Lavrenti Beria : [hands an execution warrant to an NKVD officer]  Shoot her before him, but make sure he sees it.

  [hands a second warrant to another officer] 

  Lavrenti Beria : Oh, and this one, kill him, take him to his church and dump him in the pulpit.

  [hands the remaining warrants to a third officer] 

  Lavrenti Beria : The rest I leave up to you.

• Lavrenti Beria : It's lucky we both now live in the new Soviet Union or you and your wife and your family would be a pile of dust on the floor of a crematorium toilet.

• Nikita Khrushchev : What was the name of the - that woman who gave evidence against the doctors?

  Georgy Malenkov : Timashuk.

  Lavrenti Beria : Yes. She's got everything we require for the situation. The location of all the remaining doctors in the Moscow area, a proven desire to survive and a talent for fellatio.

  Anastas Mikoyan : Yeah, right, she gets my vote.

  Nicolai Bulganin : Good. Let her find us some doctors.

  Anastas Mikoyan : Yeah, and if it goes badly, we pin it all on Lady Suck Suck.

  Kaganovich : Then we shoot her.

  Georgy Malenkov : You see? We're better as a committee.

• Nikita Khrushchev : Which doctor have you called?

  Georgy Malenkov : Oh, well...

  Lavrenti Beria : The subject's currently under discussion.

  Georgy Malenkov : As acting General Secretary, I think that, well, the Committee should decide.

  Nikita Khrushchev : The Committee? But our *actual* General Secretary is lying in a puddle of indignity! I think he's saying, "get me a doctor now!"

  Georgy Malenkov : No, I-I don't agree. I think we should wait until we're quorate.

  Nikita Khrushchev : Quorate? The room is only 75% *conscious*!

• [Zhukov punches Beria] 

  Georgy Zhukov : Want a job done properly, you call the army. Take his belt off. It's hard to run away with your pants falling down.

  Nikita Khrushchev : [to Malenkov]  If you want to talk to General Zhukov, now's your opportunity.

  Georgy Zhukov : Spit it out, Georgy. Staging a coup here.

  Georgy Malenkov : ...He's got a knife by his ankle.

  Lavrenti Beria : You're a disgrace!

  Lazar Kaganovich : Give his head a good kicking. Make you feel better.

  Vyacheslav Molotov : All in good time.

  Lavrenti Beria : Oh, I'm gonna enjoy peeling the skin from your self-satisfied face.

  Georgy Zhukov : [holds up the little knife and scoffs]  Not with that, you won't.

• Vasily Stalin : I will not be silent...!

  Lavrenti Beria : [looks him in the eye and whispers]  I know about the hockey team.

• Nikita Khrushchev : You are accused of using your position as Minister of the Interior to plot against the Soviet Union...

  Zhukov's Chief of Staff : Traitor!

  Nikita Khrushchev : with the goal of forwarding the interests of foreign powers...

  Lavrenti Beria : Foreign powers? From where, the fucking moon?

  Nikita Khrushchev : You are also accused of three hundred and forty-seven counts of rape, of sexual deviancy and bourgeois immorality, and acts of perversion with children as young as seven years old!

• Lavrenti Beria : [standing over Stalin's unconscious body]  Have a long sleep, old man. I'll take it from here.

• Lavrenti Beria : Are you wearing a corset?

  Georgy Malenkov : It's a girdle. And I have a bad back. It's functional. It's not cosmetic.

  Lavrenti Beria : You wear it well.

• Lavrenti Beria : It smells like a Baku Pisshouse in here.

• NKVD Officer Kobulov : Some women will do anything to get their husbands released.

  Lavrenti Beria : Yep, and she did everything. I thank the Union for bringing me so many devoted wives who fuck like sewing machines.

• Lavrenti Beria : Take the papers! Take them or I'll cut your eyes out one at a time so you can watch it happening!

• Lavrenti Beria : Is there any cheese in this building?

• Georgy Malenkov : He's irreplaceable. How can we possibly - ? I - we must think of the people. As Acting General Secretary I must step up. I must - I must take his place while he's - on the floor.

  Lavrenti Beria : You just said he's irreplaceable.

  Georgy Malenkov : Irreplaceable - take his place, as in assembling the Central Committee, of course.

  Lavrenti Beria : Good. I was testing you. Get used to that sort of challenge.

• Lavrenti Beria : Stalin destroyed the status quo.

  Georgy Malenkov : Yes.

  Lavrenti Beria : And he built a new one.

  Georgy Malenkov : Yes.

  Lavrenti Beria : The changes he made were both radical and popular.

  Georgy Malenkov : Liberalizations would be popular.

  Lavrenti Beria : Radical. Radical.

  Georgy Malenkov : And popular.

• Svetlana Stalin : Why should I trust you?

  Lavrenti Beria : Because I'm the only one who's telling you. Trust no-one.

• Lavrenti Beria : [handcuffed to a pipe in a men's restroom]  Is this magisterial enough for you all? This charade? This is a lavatory!

  Anastas Mikoyan : Well, you should feel at home then, shouldn't you, you little coil of shit?

• Lavrenti Beria : Please don't shoot me!

• Lavrenti Beria : Vasily! I sometimes wonder if he's meant for this World.

• Lavrenti Beria : Courage! Courage, Little Bird!

• Lavrenti Beria : You spineless rat! You're just a cadaver we propped up in a corset.

• Lavrenti Beria : You know what I'm doing? I'm offering you and that bloated soak my protection.

  Svetlana Stalin : We are not children!

  [Tarasov emerges from Vasily's room, looking grim] 

  Vasily Stalin : [from inside]  You are a real listener, thank you...!

  Svetlana Stalin : ...I am not a child.

• [an NKVD officer appears with a file folder] 

  Georgy Malenkov : I will deal with whatever horseshit you have, presently!

  Lavrenti Beria : Actually, I'd like you to see this.

  Georgy Malenkov : [to the officer]  Come on through.

• Lavrenti Beria : [standing up and collecting his papers]  I will oversee the releases.

  Lavrenti Beria : You've loosened the Union's great corset.

  [Malenkov stares at Beria angrily] 

• Lavrenti Beria : False Narrative!

• Lavrenti Beria : Stalin is Dead!

  Polina Molotova : Our Stalin?

  Lavrenti Beria : No, your Stalin!

  [Beria giggles, she weeps]