Klaus (2019)

Norm MacDonald: Mogens

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Jesper approaches a wooden hut beside a docked boat. A scruffy, middle-aged man rests inside the hut. Jesper huffs, then clears his throat] 

  Mogens : You go back to the intersection, you make a left at the dead tree. You're welcome.

  Jesper : What? No. I'm not lost.

  Mogens : Trust me, you are.

  [Jesper laughs sarcastically] 

  Jesper : Funny. Say, nice boat! Any chance you might actually get on it today?

  [Mogens lifts his hat] 

  Mogens : What was that?

  Jesper : New postman. Smeerensburg. Which is on an island, which is surrounded by water, which I need a boat to get to, which you have. Are we starting to connect the dots?

  [Mogens gives Jesper a jaded smile] 

• Mogens : Ah, young love - takes me back, you know. The intense looks, the palpitation of the heart... the whimpering and the soiling of the pants? No - I can't relate to so much.

• Postmaster General : Anchors aweigh captain, we're sailing off at once.

  Mogens : [looking at Jesper]  Well, that's a first.

  Postmaster General : I beg your pardon?

  Mogens : Never saw a postman looking more miserable leaving than on the day they came in... Oh well, best leave it alone I say. I'm sure it's nothing that could eventually fester and become a source of regret.

• Mogens : [mocking Jesper's failure to post letters]  Is this a bad time? I can see you're pretty swamped!

  Jesper : [exhausted]  Don't... you... have... a job... or something?

  Mogens : Why, sure I do! I'm here to pick up all the outgoing mail! So - where is it? Now, you're gonna have to help me with the heavier bags. Bad back, don't you know.

  Jesper : Man, I hate you.

  Mogens : I know.