Siskel & Ebert (TV Series)

The Worst Films of 1995 (1996)

Roger Ebert: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Gene Siskel - Host : Demi Moore in "The Scarlet Letter". Sylvester Stallone in "Judge Dredd". Eddie Murphy in "Vampire in Brooklyn". What do these three films have in common? Each has made either Roger's, or my list, or maybe both of our lists, of the very worst films of 1995. And that's the subject of this special show where we give one more shot to lousy films that stole two hours out of our lives, two hours, we are NEVER gonna get back. I'm Gene Siskel of the Chicago Tribune.

  Roger Ebert - Host : And I'm Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times. And you've got me thinking now, because we're gonna select six movies a-piece, that's twelve hours a piece, between the two of us, that's twenty-four hours, that's a WHOLE DAY!

  Gene Siskel - Host : Get me a knife.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Happily.

• Roger Ebert - Host : [reviewing "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie"]  What disappointed me about that movie was that a lot of kids DID go to see the "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers", which did absolutely nothing for their imagination, their curiosity, or their artistic development, while in the same year, there were wonderful family movies around, like "A Little Princess", "Babe", and "The Secret of Roan Inish". And if we're losing OUR lives looking at these movies...

  Gene Siskel - Host : Yeah. Good point.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...Think about little kids who only have so much time to develop their personalities, and they're going to this mindless drivel.

  Gene Siskel - Host : If parents are gonna complain...

  Roger Ebert - Host : Yes.

  Gene Siskel - Host : ...About the quality of entertainment, then they've gotta examine- 'cause y'know, the kids didn't drive themselves...

  Roger Ebert - Host : No no no.

  Gene Siskel - Host : The eight year old didn't get in the car...

  Roger Ebert - Host : The parents of America VOTED for "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers"...

  Gene Siskel - Host : Yeah, you got it. And they're gonna get more of it.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...OVER good movies for children, because they didn't care.

• Gene Siskel - Host : "Judge Dredd" was just more of the same. I don't care, y'know, out there, he gets $20 million a picture...

  Roger Ebert - Host : Yeah, I know he does.

  Gene Siskel - Host : What's his reputation worth?

  Roger Ebert - Host : Well, it's worth $20 million a picture, obviously, because this movie was a big hit overseas, and it made a lot of money. The problem is, that people go to see it, and they leave feeling empty, because it hasn't done anything for them, for their imagination. They just passively absorb explosions and special effects and chases, and after a while, it just deadens you.

  Gene Siskel - Host : You know, Roger, I never have looked at the camera and talked to an actor, I'm gonna break this tradition right now.

  [to camera] 

  Gene Siskel - Host : I know, Stallone, you probably hate my guts, you think I hate you. I don't hate you; I like your talent, I want you to USE it. This isn't what you were put on Earth for, you can do this in your sleep, and sometimes, it looks like that's exactly what you're doing.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Very inspirational, Gene. I think I'll make a sermon later in this show, too...

  Gene Siskel - Host : Okay, and I'll pass the plate, too.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...If I get inspired. Okay. That's terrific. And we'll sing a hymn together.

  Gene Siskel - Host : I'd LOVE to hear that!

• Roger Ebert - Host : [reviewing "Vampire in Brooklyn"]  Here's a guy

  [Eddie Murphy] 

  Roger Ebert - Host : who was, at one point, a big star. His career is in free-fall, does he know that?

  Gene Siskel - Host : He has to know that.

  Roger Ebert - Host : That when you must have a comeback project, you don't write the screenplay yourself and have your brothers help you. You go out, and you colla- it's a collaborative medium.

  Gene Siskel - Host : You submit.

  Roger Ebert - Host : You're the actor. You're not the genius. You're not the producer, the director, the writer, the agent, and the studio head. You're the actor, and if you get good people on your team, you're likely to look good. And that's what he needs. He became a star because good people like John Landis and Walter Hill made him look good in good movies.

  Gene Siskel - Host : The sermon is concluded from Mr. Ebert.

• Roger Ebert - Host : [reviewing "Jury Duty"]  This was the year when a lot of comedians followed Jim Carrey's lead and made movies where they tried to be dumb and dumber. In our business, you get to be a connoisseur. I would rank them like this: Jim Carrey is a virtuoso, a genius, obviously. Chris Farley in "Tommy Boy", remember that one?

  Gene Siskel - Host : [disgusted]  Oh.

  Roger Ebert - Host : At least he was hard-working. Sure. Thumbs down. Thumbs down. We're talking on a continuum here.

  [holds hand above his head] 

  Roger Ebert - Host : From Jim Carrey,

  [moves hand to chest level] 

  Roger Ebert - Host : to Chris Farley...

  Gene Siskel - Host : [grabs Roger's hand and pulls it down]  No, Chris Farley...

  Roger Ebert - Host : Oh okay, but we don't have room then at the bottom of the scale...

  Gene Siskel - Host : Start diggin'!

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...For Pauly Shore! He was in a category all his own! A category that I recommend be discontinued.

  Gene Siskel - Host : Well, y'know, I'm sure he's sittin' there, laughing, saying "That's exactly what I oughta do. I'm not trying to appeal to you."

  Roger Ebert - Host : "Hey, you didn't get it. You didn't get it."

  Gene Siskel - Host : "You, Mr. Middle Aged. I'm goin' for the idiot kids out there."

  Roger Ebert - Host : Yeah, well, they're not idiot enough. They're- kids these days are just too smart. Even the ones with IQs of 50 are too smart for Pauly Shore, what do you say?

  Gene Siskel - Host : [chuckles]  Right, Roger.