Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016)

Cassi Davis: Aunt Bam

Photos 

Quotes 

• Aunt Bam : Madea, what is a Ho-01K?

  Madea : That's for hoes. That's for all those women that never ever could pay taxes because they got their money illegally, so you put it all to the side. It's not a 401K, it's a Ho-01K. That's what I got from back in the day when I was stripping.

• Madea : I was reading.

  Hattie , Aunt Bam : Reading what?

  Madea : I was trying to read the Bible.

  Aunt Bam : Madea, where is the Bible?

  Madea : It's on the table of my heart.

• Aunt Bam : [takes a card out of her blouse]  I got a prescription!

• Madea : Do you know what I had to do when I was little to get candy?

  Aunt Bam : What'd you have to do, Madea?

  Madea : I had to give up candy to *get* candy, that's what I had to do.

• Brian : Listen, we have never spanked our children, ever. We didn't do that, we weren't those kinds of parents.

  Hattie : Well that's the problem right there.

  Aunt Bam : That's right.

  Madea : That's right, that's right. Whoop her. Baby, let me tell you something, I'm not telling you to go up there and abuse no child, even though I got a hammer in my purse, I'm just kidding about the hammer.

  [to Hattie] 

  Madea : No I'm not.

  [to Brian] 

  Madea : But listen, what I'm trying to get you to understand is very very simple, son. Hear me clearly. A little love tap never hurt nobody.

• Police Officer #1 : We got a call from this house about an underaged girl at a frat party?

  Aunt Bam : Uh...

  [Jamaican accent] 

  Aunt Bam : No Englese, I'm... from Jamaica.

  Police Officer #1 : They speak English in Jamaica.

  Aunt Bam : Well then I'm from Me-hi-co!

  Police Officer #1 : Como usta usted?

  Aunt Bam : Well then I'm from China.

  [Cop responds in Chinese] 

  Aunt Bam : Ah! You speaking in tongues?

  Police Officer #1 : I went to college.

  Aunt Bam : And I love Jesus. Yes, I do, too.

  Police Officer #1 : We all do too.

  Aunt Bam : Amen.

• Hattie : Hey, Brian!

  Brian : Hello, Miss Hattie, how you doing?

  Hattie : Hey, gimme a hug, Brian!

  Brian : [laughs nervously]  Oh, no, no, no, I'll pass on that. I'll pass on that.

  Hattie : Why?

  Aunt Bam : You know why. Every time you hug up on him, you thrust your pelvis into his.

  Hattie : What? He a grown-ass man, he can take it.

  Brian : I don't *want* to take it, Miss Hattie.

  Hattie : You can take it if you want it, Brian.

  Brian : I don't want it.

• Aunt Bam : These children today...

  Madea : No, it ain't the children, baby, it's the parents. It's the *damn* parents, the parents I don't understand.

  Joe : That's what it is right there.

  Madea : If the parents were getting in charge of the children here, we wouldn't be having all these issues.

• Aunt Bam : I was so worried at my house, you know I'm scared of everything. Scared. Of. Everything. And this Halloween stuff just give me the creeps.

  Madea : She don't like, she don't like Haller-ween.

  Aunt Bam : Mm-mm. Don't like it at all, it just give me the creeps. But now I'm all right, 'cause we all here together

  Madea : All together.

  Aunt Bam : That's right.

  Madea : Together.

• Tiffany : Look what I brought home from school.

  Joe : What the hell's that?

  Tiffany : It's a ghost board, Grandpa.

  Joe : Get that, get that the hell on out of here.

  Aunt Bam : No ma'am, uh-uh, get that devilment out of here.

  Tiffany : No, it's fun. It's how you communicate with the dead.

  Madea : You heard her, get it on out of here, honey. We don't play with stuff like that. Get that up out of here.

  Tiffany : No, it's fun.

  Madea : I'ma tell you right now, if you open it, that's what you're gonna be. Dead! You gonna be on the other side, honey. We don't play with stuff like that.

• Tiffany : The ghosts come out at midnight.

  Aunt Bam : Okay.

  [stands up] 

  Aunt Bam : I'm out of here.