- Johnny Carson: How many of you have been playing the lottery?
- [some audience applause]
- Johnny Carson: All the money, as you know, goes for education - so, uh, someday our kids will be smart enough not to play the lottery.
- Jackie Gleason: Talent is a very annoying thing - 'cause you can't take any credit for it! It's a gift from God, you know - and you're stuck with that!